Monday, June 7

It's all fun and games, until frosting gets tossed

I have, in my life as a mother, been known to throw away a house's full supply of candy, a pan of brownies, and many and several sweet treats, to make a point. My child, in her life as a baby, has learned just a little bit from that. I can be super petty sometimes, but it's all in an effort to teach her the consequences of her actions.
    Tonight, the arena for our battle was a water bottle. Every morning, as I get ready to leave for work, I refill my water bottle so it's full when I get home with my lunch. Today, when I got home, my water bottle was empty on the coffee table. The water thief refilled it for me, which was nice. Tonight though, when she went to take a drink, I told her not to drink it all. Her response? "You know I have to drink it all out of spite now, right?" And then she did. I told her if she finished it, she'd have to refill it. I said, "Or I toss out your frosting."
    She took the bottle into the kitchen, put one ice cube in the bottle, and filled it up to the exact halfway mark. She brought it to me and said, "There. You didn't say it had to be filled to the top." I nodded along. All the while, I had already figured out my plan.
    I threatened the frosting. She filled up half the bottle. I would toss out exactly half the frosting. So the fresh, brand-new chocolate frosting tub that she'd gotten for snacking (don't judge me as a mother), was sliced and diced in exactly half, and that half was tossed out. I split it like this specifically so that when she picks up the tub, she will feel the weight difference, and she will wonder. And she will KNOW that Mom is not to be fucked with. Be a rude and greedy jerk, and get half your yummy stuff put in the trash.

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