Sleepy time, night nights

Time for a quick check-in on my EXPECTATIONs.

    I have one in particular that I'd like to update: EXPECTATION 2. "Relax the grip I have on Trazodone to sleep." Almost a week ago, last Saturday night, in fact, I cut back on my Trazodone dosage (which is prescribed, by the way). I was taking two per night with a couple Advil PMs, and having a wonderful night sleep because of them.

    Background: Up until my, shall we say, slight breakdown last May, I was an excellent sleeper. My favorite time of day was rolling over to fall asleep at night. I had the ability to just close my eyes and go to sleep. I love sleep, and to grasp it so quickly every night was awesome.

    But once the breakdown happened, I wasn't sleeping at all, barely two hours a night, and was generally freaking out, crying, not eating and had developed tachycardia. A visit to the doctor got my heartbeat under control and the Trazodone helping me sleep. Other things took care of the root of the issue, but the Trazodone was something I wasn't willing to give up for my nights. This was in June/July, and I've been coddling my cocktail every night since then.

    Walgreens having to contact the doctor to refill my prescription a couple months ago, for a prescription that only was supposed to be for a couple months in the first place, got me concerned about my dependence on the meds to help me fall asleep. In the time since then, I'd tried a couple times to decrease the dosage, but had a terrible night sleep that night, which freaked me out, and I went back to the two.

    The same thing happened last Saturday. I slept terrible on the one pill. But Sunday, because I'd slept poorly the night before, was a better night because I was so tired. Happily, since then, I've had good sleeps, and I actually think I may be feeling a bit "awaker" in the morning, though that just may be my imagination. But the good news is, only one dose a night. And in a month, we'll try cutting it out entirely. I'll still be taking the Advil PMs, don't mistake me there, but the Trazodone life is getting close to passing me by.