As a mom, I've had a rough couple days. I think it's harder now, when all my information is filtered through the lens of a 14-year-old who only tells me some things, than when she was a kid and I could describe, interpret and decree things as I saw fit. Now she knows her own mind and feelings, and it's not possible to tell someone how they feel. So when I ask her something, I have to run with the thought that I have been told all relevant information. When a parent discovers that some information is withheld, whether by deceit or just forgetfulness, it makes the job of parenting more difficult, as well as incomplete. And that is what I've been grappling with lately, just not having all relevant information.
Still, I think today we had a bit of a breakthrough, and we've made some decisions and taken some actions, and going into tomorrow, it'll be better. Of course, it's not lost on me how many times I've said, "Well, tomorrow will be better" lately. And how many times "tomorrow" is the beginning of a new slate. And how "tomorrow" will be a calmer existence. It hasn't happened yet, though I keep hoping.
For Mother's Day, I may eat that whole chocolate cake myself because I certainly deserve it this year.
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