This season, I dance with apathy

Did you notice something missing on the blog over the last two weeks? Something, maybe, sparkly and shiny? Something twisty and turny? Something dancy?
Yes, my friends, we are two weeks into the new season of Dancing with the Stars, and you won't find anything about it up here. I have decided to take this season off. I am vacationing from the show. I respectfully decline to watch it. I don't care at all about the "stars" in it, nor am I caring how well they dance with the "pros." And it's really very liberating to my head, heart and television-viewing psyche.
If you remember, I missed the first episode in that unfortunate DVR hiccup. Having missed it, I chose to not catch the second and third episode of that first week. Now, this week, I've decided that I really just am not interested in it at all. And especially with all that Cloris Leachman nonsense and the pros I don't know. The only people I am remotely interested in seeing are Misty May-Treanor and Lance Bass, but neither one of them are really enough to make me change the channel, or do the samba with my DVR again. I'll just sit this one out ... be a wallflower, if I may ... and catch up with them next season.

I don't fear the stirrups

I've got an appointment for a colposcopy tomorrow morning. My yearly pap smear showed some irregular cells, and the follow-up visit with the doctor is the fun and interesting colposcopy. I've had one before, you know. Out in Boston, I had an irregular pap show up. Obviously, there was nothing to it, else you would know, so I'm really treating this one very cavalierly. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I seriously don't think it's any big deal.
You want to know what's weird about this appointment tomorrow? It's the first time I'll be seeing my actual doctor since the week before Sydney was born. I had the on-call doctor deliver Sydney. My six-week, after-baby appointment was with the nurse practitioner. So was my yearly wellness check the following year; as was this most-recent appointment, with the nurse practitioner. Even though this visit should be all nerve-wracking (I guess), I'm really kind of excited to see the doctor. She is super nice, and we got along super well, so I'm sure it'll be a pleasant visit.
And what would you all rather be doing at 7:30 a.m., if not spending time on an exam table?

She did, you know, absolutely destroy them

Alright, I've finished the first three books of the Twilight series, written by Stephenie Meyer. I'll admit to enjoying them, though I've become a bit irritated with the main female character, Bella. I'm not sure why, she just seems a bit dim as the story progresses, and certainly beyond selfish. I would say that her attitude could be contributed to the fact that she's so young, but in every way, the books paint her as a more mature girl. In that, the attitude doesn't compute. I agree with her on one point, Jacob and Edward should both stay away because she is a horrible person. They both sound too cool for her. Blah, blah, blah.
At any rate, I'm ready to dive into the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, which is the last of the series, and from what I remember hearing after it was released weeks or so ago, a lot of the fans are/were very unhappy with what happens in it. I'm intrigued, and I could go either way: Bella could choose either Jacob or Edward and I'd be disappointed with them accepting her. So I'm going into this one with an open mind. Nothing Meyer writes could possibly disappoint me more than how Anne Rice butchered her Vampire Chronicles in the end.

Casual viewer of the show; loved the movie

I had such a happy girly evening tonight ... all by myself. I sat on my bed, eating a yummy slice of key lime pie, drinking a Starbucks mocha, and watching Sex and the City: The Movie. By the way, what a great little movie! Loved it! It's a drag that it was such a classic girl-night experience and the closest heartbeat to me was my male dog, instead of all my divas and I sitting around a large and glowing television pigging out on ding dongs, but all in all, I'm pretty happy with how this particular Saturday night ended up.

I'm terribly vexed

I wish I knew more about the economy, so I could have a better understanding of what's going on than what I've gleaned through Jon Stewart, snippets of talking heads on news channels, and some time watching the guy on Mad Money tonight. I hate being so ignorant of it, and the worst of all, not really getting why it's so bad, and how it can get worse. I'd love to say that I obviously didn't pay attention to my college economics professor, both times I took the course, but I really don't think all this was covered. All I remember is supply versus demand and all that. There was nothing about how mortgage companies and banks can just fold so quickly and quietly, with nary a whimper or ripple to let anyone know ahead of time. It's just wrong, but still, outside my realm of understanding. Never before has my dislike for numbers and their tricky ways built such a brick wall in front of my understanding of a situation. It irks me. And vexes me. And confuses me. And angers me.

I hate her character's name though: Sookie

So I feel like the headline of the last post probably was a bit too randomly specific. I'll explain: HBO is showing Charlie's Angels lately. You remember that scene where they're "undercover" at the party at Tim Curry's Japanese pagoda from Kyoto? When Cameron Diaz's character is flirting with Luke Wilson? Well, Lucy Liu tells her, after she's crashed and burned in conversation, to "flip your god-damn hair." Every time I think about Daisy's flipped eyelid, that's the phrase I hear. I thought I'd use it as a headline, but every time I look at it, I don't like it. I could fix it, you know, but won't. If I did, this post wouldn't make any sense whatsoever.
Are you all watching that HBO show, True Blood? I'm hooked. I'm watching this week's episode again, right now. I like that it's shown on Sunday night, when there's nothing else for me to watch. I like that it's kinda down and dirty. I dig that Anna Paquin and the aunt from Twister are in it. And I like that, after I've read and watched so much vampire stuff in my life, this is still pretty fascinating to me. And it's gritty. That's the word I've been looking for: gritty.

Flip your god-damn eyelid

First, I digress: Did you hear that Clay Aiken is gay? Is this news? I'm irritated that it's anyone's business but his; that he has to declare it on the cover of People magazine; and that it took him so long to share it with the world, like we didn't know already. Jeez, some of you people. If you all quit acting like being gay is a big deal, it will stop being a big deal!

Today, I took Daisy to the vet ... again ... for another random health issue ... again. Apparently, the third eyelid can flip back, leaving a very pink blobby-looking thing in the corner of a puppy's eye. Left untreated, the eyelid flip can cause permanent damage. Treated, it costs $84, and may have to be fixed with surgery. Grr. At any rate, we visited the vet again, and all is well. So you know, an eyelid flip can happen because of some trauma, such as running into something, getting hit by a toy or something, or after some vigorous rubbing and scratching. Who knows how Daisy managed it, but it's all better now ... and I feel like I should be on first-name basis with the vet.
Also, I watched last night's Terminator online tonight. This is the first time I've done that, and it proved to be a good, if a teensy-bit frustrating, experience. I dig the 32-second commercials though. The video went wonky once or twice, but a little pause-and-play action had it back on track. I had to watch it on Brian's computer though, as my iBook, for some reason, doesn't like video to run smoothly at all. That's the only bad thing you'll hear me say about my Apple.

Sadly, they don't come in red

Part 1: We've decided that we're just going to fix my car, and not worry about getting something new for a couple more years. In the end, it's like, why go through the hassle right now, when I can go through it this time two years from now when I've got a job and can feel fine picking what I want to drive? This way, no arguing, compromising or negotiating need be done, and I'll still have a red car in my parking spot. You know, until I'm driving the space shuttle, that is.
Part 2: Sydney has figured out how to climb out of her crib. And in response, her parents overreacted, and immediately took down the footboard for a toddler bed, then replaced it, and finally just turned the crib around so the high part is on the outside. I'm going to switch it back tomorrow, and hope that I can just un-learn her this particular practice, and get her to keep her butt in the crib until I get her.
Part 3: I caved to my television addiction and picked up a DVR cable box for my bedroom today. I had it all set up and ready to go, recording both Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dancing with the Stars tonight. However, and of course, I got all distracted and flustered dealing with my kid, her crib and her father that I accidentally canceled the recordings ... both of them. So here I sit, all ready to watch Terminator, and all I've got is the first 30 seconds of DWTS. What the frick? I've decided that I can live without tonight's DWTS, since there are still parts 2 and 3 on Tuesday and Wednesday. And hey, Terminator is available online, so I'll be watching that tomorrow during nap time ... but still after I've watched Gossip Girl, which I still recorded on the living room television.
Part 4: Daisy's an independent puppy these days, no longer being kept in her little sleeping pen. We've gone a few days without any accidents, and she's been good about going out when she needs to use the facilities. In fact, this morning when I got up, she was waiting in the doorway to the bedroom for me. I walked to the balcony with her, and she peed outside, just like good puppies do! Next week, carpet cleaners!!
Part 5: I'm tired, guys. I'm off to bed.

A peaceful exit

Okay, well, Grandma died last night. So unreal, going from diagnosis to death in just six days, isn't it? She was comfortable at the hospice home, and they took really great care of her. And the nurses knew it would be Saturday, so we were out there that morning, and said our goodbyes. Actually, probably everyone else said their goodbyes. I just gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her to be a good girl. It's odd, you know, having constantly referred to someone as mean, kinda evil, and cold for all those years, only to really miss her when she's gone. I always thought that Grandma would live into her 90s, just like Great Grandma did. I thought we'd have at least another decade to deal with her irrational and inexplicable dislike of some people. And at least another decade of worrying about her driving; or having to wear socks in her kitchen; or wondering if I would ever get one of her handmade afghans for my baby. But even with all that, there's no doubt in my mind that wherever she is now, she's at peace, and hopefully, there's decent iced tea to drink and good pudding to eat.
You know, she was the strongest of all of us. Sure, sometimes, it's what made us wonder how on earth we came from her loins, but on a day like today, it makes me proud that it helps me keep it together, and knowing that she expects more from me than to sit around and cry. That's no help, and "whoever said life was fair."

p.s. A special thank you to Lisa for spending time on the phone with me while I drove out to Chandler; Andrea for her sweet voice mail message; Jeannine for her thoughtful e-mail; and especially to Jeff and Liz, who called me for a chat, but, more importantly, bought groceries for my mommy and hung out with her for a while today.

Tell me what YOU think

So they won't be able to actually transform the car into a BMW, but it may become one just the same.
Look: the dealer wants a grand total of $5,200 to fix all the things wrong with my car. That number includes a flushing of the transmission, replacement of the timing belts and the water pump for $2,300. Okay, the timing belts are showing some signs of definite wear, so they do need to be replaced, but not immediately. What is immediate is the catalytic converter (which my service guy has finessed to be covered under warranty), the intake manifold ($1,630), the front driver side door lock ($275), the front passenger side door lock (which is $370 because they had to break open the door to get it unlocked), and an oil change. So that's the immediate. The issue with the timing belts has messed with my peace of mind enough so that I know I need to take care of that. But do I?
So, then there's this: the Blue Book on the car is only $4,100. The dealer wants $5,200 to fix it all. Huh? Question: Why pay more than what the care is worth when I'll only be driving it until I have a job, and goodness knows what tremendous thing will have to be fixed next year? Do we want a car payment or not? Of course, we were planning on getting Brian a new car this season anyway. But now, it's become a necessity for us to either spend $5,000 on the old car that will only decline more in value, or just get me a new car. And while I would love, love, love a new car, I did not want one this way. You all don't understand how much Brian's going to whine about this, and is already. "Why can't my car be the broken one?" he asked me tonight.
Well, we've got some time before deciding, but not really. I give my sense of stress with these timing belts a couple weeks. And the tires really do need to be replaced. More money into a car that isn't worth it, right there.
So, I'm curious enough to make a question out of this: What do YOU think I should do? Post a comment.

The a/c isn't cold enough either

When it rains, it pours, right?
So, the car's got issues lately. And I've got a laundry list of stuff to be taken care of tomorrow when I leave it at the dealer to be fixed up. You ready for it? First and foremost, the front passenger door will not unlock. Yes, it's a ridiculous problem for any car to have, but it is still a big problem. Whenever Mom and I go anywhere, she has to crawl through the driver side, over the parking brake and gear shift, and finally into the passenger seat. When we stop somewhere, we look like a clown car with everyone piling out through one door. Also, the front doors won't unlock with the keyless entry. Second, the brake light is flickering on and off on the dashboard. This means that the brakes need to be checked. That, of course, means that they'll probably have to be replaced. Third, yes, the car makes a fantastic sputtering noise when driving, and while idling. It's sexy ... and not at all what I paid for when I got this particular vehicle. Fourth, the driver side window squeaks really, really loud when it's rolled up. Fifth, they're having a special to change my oil and complete a full-body inspection for $89. And finally, I'm having them rotate my tires, which probably should be replaced instead, but they definitely need to be rotated as soon as possible.
That's a list and a half, right? Jeez. I feel like, conservatively, there is no way I'm getting my car back within one day, or for less than $1,000. What do you think? ... And, that's without the timing belt replacement and transmission flush that the guy recommended since the car has more than 72,000 miles on it (a service that, on its own, costs about $2,000).
At any rate, the stuff's got to be fixed. Not the least of my issues is that frickin' door lock. It's driving me batty. I forgot how inconvenient it is to have to lock and unlock the doors with the key. Especially when I've got Sydney, the human wiggle worm who would rather walk, and bags from wherever I've been in my arms. So tomorrow, I get it all fixed. No doubt I'll have a rock-solid rental car, too.

A bad scene

So, how to begin. Well, I guess I'll just spit it out: my grandma's got terminal pancreatic cancer that's metastasized to her liver and back, and the doctor's doesn't think she'll survive the next 30 days. "She's full," I guess, is enough of a diagnosis to have us all scurrying to make sure her last days are comfortable and pain-free. Good luck with that, but she seems to be a comfy camper on morphine, among other things. Mom, Auntie Donna and I have been frequent and extended visitors to Grandma's hospital room. However, today, she was moved to a hospice home. I haven't been to visit her there yet, but Donna says it's really nice. We'll check it out tomorrow once Mom and Aunt Jacque get back into town.
So, to say the least, this is going to be a weird month or so. It's laying heavy on my mind. What's worse is that I'm kind of having to deal with this the same way I dealt with Howie. Meaning, I'm not dealing with it at all. I've got Sydney to keep moving along happily; I've got Mom to keep sane; and I've got any manner of others that I'm being strong for.
But also, given the opportunity, I wouldn't know how to act or what to think anyway.
So, my friends, that's how it's going right now.

Not every poem needs to rhyme ... so says I

I've got so much to blog about tonight,
but my head's in a jumble.
Really, it's just not right,
and this morning, our world took a tumble.

So I'll get into it tomorrow,
after I've talked with some people,
but for now, this is it.

Ike visits Houston

Okay, it's Saturday afternoon. Sydney's asleep; I've read most of this week's Entertainment Weekly; Brian's comfortable "watching" college football; Mom's out and about with Auntie Donna. It's pretty much a perfect moment right now. Except that Daisy just hurled a little bit on the carpet at my feet. Whatever.
So, I'm a bit worried about Jon, Emily and Benjamin in Houston. I chatted with Emily a couple days ago, and she told me that they would be "hunkering down," for the hurricane. I watched the news with a fair amount of trepidation last night as Ike slammed into Texas. I've thought of calling a hundred times this morning, but I'm sure that they're fine, and the last thing any phone lines need is me being all, "Hey. You okay?"
Perversely, and with all the hindsight this morning affords me, I kinda wish that the hurricane had rolled through the town when Brian and I were there. I've always wanted to experience every type of weather, and a big, fat hurricane like Ike would have totally fit the bill. But alas, there was no such excitement over Labor Day weekend. {sigh.}
I'll call them tomorrow.

Project Bynes; Chapter: Ears

Okay, I'm going to throw it out there: I think there must be something wrong with Amanda Bynes' ears. Consider it, no matter how her hair is styled, you never see the fronts of her ears. She's always got these large, straight plaits of hair hanging in front of her ears, alongside her face. In the beginning, it was cute that she insisted on having her hair like this. Now though, she's a bit older, and the hair curtains just aren't cutting it anymore. I've always thought she was a pretty girl. I actually really like her eye makeup in a lot of her movies; it sets off her green eyes really well. So this is, in no way, a bash on Bynes.
But then, along came this movie, Sydney White, on HBO a few weeks ago. I watched it ... well, part of it ... in stunned silence. I mean, look at her hair! (There at the bottom left.) And it's like this in every scene of the film! It's at this point when I thought, you know, I don't think I've ever seen a picture of her where you can actually see her ears unobstructed by her hanging hair. And then I thought, well, I wonder why that is. I even popped through all her photo pages on IMDB, and seriously, there are no pictures of her with her ears on display. (I'm not stalking. Just doing research and proving a point, you weirdos.) So clearly, there must be something very wrong if she'd go ahead and wear a ponytail like this, and wear it in a movie where people would see, and think that it would be a good move. Ugh.
Please, someone. Help this girl and tell her it's okay to pull back all her hair and let her ears show. This may become a very real quest for me, you know.
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Jeez, I need a job.