Mission: New Computer?

It's getting to be time to replace the computer, my friends. This one is officially incapable of updating anything. Two of my three internet browsers aren't supported by my operating system, nor is Twitter, if you can believe that. My computer is so obsolete to Twitter that I have to use the platform's mobile site on the computer. It's weird. And we know that I'm dangerously low on memory space and the like on here, too.
It's something that I'll have to investigate on my own though, as Sydney thinks we should have a PC for all her games that don't work on Apples, and Brian will do nothing but complain about the expense of it all. But I'm in the mood to start shopping now. I feel like it's only a matter of time before this thing crashes and won't wake up, and that will be quite devastating.
Here's the question, do we want a desktop or a laptop? Do we get the desktop and keep the current laptop for travel and whatnot until it's just really not usable anymore? I really enjoy bringing the computer around the house, as I am currently sitting in bed with this one on my lap. And also, I'm lazy, and when Sydney has a problem with the computer, I can say, "Bring it to me and I'll figure it out." I'll not ever want to get up and check out what's going wrong.
So perhaps that's the answer there. Laptop again. With the most memory possible. And no one gets to touch it until they wash their hands first.

UPDATE: I just spent the better part of 30 minutes on the Apple web site, and now I'm more conflicted than anything. Maybe I will get an iMac. ...