I looked it up; his last name is Okoye

I think I'm breaking up with The Rock. So, here it goes.

Dear Dwayne Johnson,
I swear, I've seen about every movie that you've starred in. And some, yes, I've seen multiple times. This past weekend, I continued my habit of seeing your movies by watching Rampage.
It was, I'm sorry to say, quite ridiculous. Bullet points follow:
• Your character, Davis SomethingSomething, was an ex-military ops guy, as is almost every single character you play, because Davis needed to have some reason as to why he was good with guns, could fly a helicopter, and oh yeah, is as big as a house.
• Like, I already have a hard and solid rule about Monkey Movies. (Check out the list of my pet peeves there on the left. It's listed.) I thought, maybe, because this particular monkey was a gorilla, my exception to the rule on Sunday morning would be a wise choice. It was not. My assumption about Monkey Movies not being too great was proved true again.
• The smart woman sidekick was well-executed, and I appreciate that, but she still got all moony-eyed at you throughout the film, which just kind of rolls with the aesthetic that the girl always has to fall for the hero. She can be smart and be an active participant in solving the problem, and then not get all coy and flirtatious at the end of the ordeal. Trust me, it's possible.
• Jeffrey Dean Morgan was Negan in a suit that can call and get helicopters to pick him up wherever he is, and that was cool. But I kept waiting for him to become a bad guy, like so many of the government suits are in these movies. But, having said that, I'm sure the sequel will include that laptop and rat.
• Sydney didn't like that the wolf died.
• Basically, there was just a whole lot of activity and plot contrivances that made me roll my eyes and think, "This is terrible!"

So, rather than just make a blanket statement that I won't go see anymore Dwayne Johnson movies where he is the sole draw, I'll just add a caveat. I will be discerning and trust that I don't have to see it in the theater. I can wait for iTunes.
So maybe I'm not breaking up with The Rock. I'll just be more careful and judicious in when we go out together.