Does a shrub not bleed?

Who was the first person to decide that, yes, shrubbery must be trimmed into round, identical spheres, or tall, oval phallic symbols? Who was that first gardener who thought, "I must cut back that shrub until I have taken away every indication that it is, indeed, a shrub?" I believe that person to be an idiot. That mindset is a disease, I think, that has spread through gardening circles like an epidemic.
Gardeners in my apartment complex went through the property today, and perpetrated such crimes against shrubbery. The plants that were, just this morning, growing beautifully green, wild and luscious, are now condemned to a life of round sameness, where they aren't allowed a single leaf or twig out of place. Should they commit such an effrontery to the symmetry of their shape, the offending piece is quickly lopped off. This is unnatural for anything, least of all a plant.
Plants are supposed to grow out and about. They're supposed to have leaves and twigs in all places, uncaring of the world around them. They are supposed to be in the uncontrollable shape of a shrub, not made to look like a chlorophyll-frosted cupcake!