Cripes, I need a soufle ... STAT

It didn't seem like a bad idea when I did it this afternoon, but tonight, I'm really hating myself for cleaning out the fridge and pantry. I systematically went through both, shelf by shelf, tossing out the bad, old and gross with little to no consideration. The trash bag I took outside was heavy and full. Sadly, my tummy regarding Midnight Snack is conversely empty and light.
All the fudge is gone. All the candy is gone. There is no cookie, no yummy ice cream, no delectable cake bread. My kitchen is a very sad place indeed. I ate Honey Nut Cheerios as my afternoon snack, and that's horribly sugarless and chocolateless. I had a cup of tea for my dessert tonight.
There are strange things afoot in my kitchen and home.
I can't wait to order my own personal birthday cake that may or may not be known to the rest of the family.