Movie bitchery: CHECK!

Well, I was that woman at the movies today. It was actually pretty liberating. I only acted out twice, but they were lovely.
First, about halfway through the movie (of course), Sydney decided she had to go potty. After we left the bathroom, and were on our way back to the theater, the young usher at the bottom of the theater's main hallway says to me, "Could you ask her to not skip so loudly?" Wait. What? I slowed for a beat, looked the kid in the eye, and said, "Really? ... No. She's skipping in a soundproof hallway. She's okay."
Second, towards the end of our movie, the guy in the row right behind us got a phone call ... and answered it. And then had a conversation. I turned around twice, and when he continued talking, I finally turned all the way around, and said, "Get off the phone! What do you think you're doing?" He immediately stopped his conversation, and once the movie was over, he bolted out of the theater. I appreciate that as I turned around to say something, I noticed that the man in the row behind the talker also was leaning forward to say something, though I got my statements out first.
As for Sydney's first trip to a grown-up movie in a theater, it was a positive one. She cried when -- SPOILER ALERT! -- Uncle Ben died, and she clapped as Spider-Man fought the mean lizard guy. She seemed to like it, but when asked if she enjoyed it, was sure to tell me, "Not really."
Anyway, we left out the back door so no one could put my picture on a Do Not Allow In The Theater sign for my condescending treatment of the usher.