Actors need positive affirmation

It’s nice that the actors can give themselves props without having to deal with the bothersome directors, writers, cinematographers and costumers. Thankfully though, that also means that the show is only two hours long.
9:01 -- I like that they make all the nominees do a cheesy opening sequence. Everyone belongs. (Check out Rachel McAdams' hair! I must get pink streaks!)
9:08 -- Ashton Kutcher forgot to shave, and Helen Mirren wins another award. Yawn. There is no suspense in this year’s Oscars.
9:11 – Someone from Friends is nominated for something? Awesome. I miss that show.
9:12 – Jeremy Irons spoke decently tonight. His Robert Duvall anecdote was a good addition.
9:16 – I just checked Yahoo! for the first time today during this commercial break. Apparently, I’m not live critiquing anything. I’m time-delay critiquing. I just read the first three paragraphs of the news article summing up the SAGs and saying who won. That’s nice.
9:20 – Dude. Steve Carell is so funny on The Office.
9:24 – I find myself wondering who picks the clips for each actor’s nominated role. Have you noticed that the nominees look surprised by how they’re portrayed for the category?
9:25 – I like that America Ferrara won again. Good for her. What a great acceptance, too.
9:26 – It’s funny how he’ll always be seen first as Marky Mark. I saw a commercial that advertised The Departed on DVD February 13. I think we’ll buy that one, even though there was a lot of head shootings.
9:34 -- Captain Stubing in the house!
9:37 – I love that The Office won! Wait. Is Jim hitting on Mary Tyler Moore?
9:44 – I’m bummed that I already read that Eddie Murphy would win this one.
9:56 – Julie Andrews really is an amazing actress. I’m so glad that she’s been honored tonight. It’s such a shame that she’s not able to sing anymore; 10:04 – And Burt to bring Julie up to the stage? Incredible!!; 10:06 – She’s just too classy. But she forgot her award. It’s still up on the stage.
10:14 – What, on earth, is Mary Louise Parker wearing? She looks like some kind of meringue concoction.
10:17 – I like the word, “vajayjay.”
10:20 – Yep. Steve Carell is officially one of the funniest cats in the world.
10:21 – I don’t think that James Gandolfini likes House. But I think that the rest of us get happy anticipating a Hugh Laurie acceptance speech.
10:24 – And the popularity contest among the dead begins. The winner is James Brown, the singer.
10:30 – Only 30 minutes left. Good. I’m tired. I wish we had some milk in the house. I’m thirsty for a glass of milk. My dog is sleeping next to me. He’s the coolest ever.
10:35 – I don’t get the hoopla with Grey’s Anatomy. And I’m okay with that.
10:36 – I don’t think James Gandolfini likes Grey’s Anatomy either. How funny are the random and not quite uncaustic digs at Isaiah Washington?
10:38 – It’s Babel with a long “a”? Has everyone been saying it wrong, or is Cate Blanchett being British and saying it different because they do that?
10:41 – Jennifer Hudson wins another award. I’ve got to see this movie. Seriously, there will be no surprises on Oscar night.
10:48 – Divorce seems to be agreeing with Reese Witherspoon. There’s that movie with the misspelling again … happiness, people, happiness. (Forest Whitaker takes home another award.)
10:53 – Jeremy Irons is wearing a silk scarf with his tuxedo. It looks kinda weird. I can’t wait for Kate Winslet to win one of these years.
10:55 – I already know who wins the final award of the night; what a drag for me. But a really good thing for Little Miss Sunshine! (That one’s on my Netflix queue.)
10:59 – And that’s that. Bedtime.