A horrible, horrible ITEM! list

ITEM!: Sometime in the last few days, I drove over a nail (like one does), and it managed to get lodged into the tire and make it leak. So, a good portion of my afternoon was spent at the tire store, where they patched the hole in the tire. It was all good stuff, since they checked all the tires, and the rest of them got clean bills of health.
ITEM!: So, the library thing is going really well. I knocked out another book today, and am eager to get involved with my next one.
ITEM!: There's a scab on my thumb, and it's super itchy. I've just now doused it with Neosporin and have covered it with a bandage, but that's not helping at all. An itchy thumb is not a particularly easy thing to tolerate. I'm totally over it, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
ITEM!: Mom took me shopping at Target this morning, and she spoiled me and my kid with two CDs for the car (Pitch Perfect 2 and Meghan Trainor's album); and a pile of shorts for Sydney, which I haven't been able to find until today.
ITEM!: I think that if I was a celebrity, I would have a Twitter account, but not ever interact with the populace. It would be better for my own peace of mind if I didn't know what everyone was saying, but could still comment on whatever I wanted. I would trumpet gay rights, animal protections, atheism, gun control, and Congressional term limits. And I wouldn't give a f*ck what anyone had to say about it, but my opinion would still be out there.
ITEM!: I ate some tortilla chips this afternoon, and they're sitting in my stomach still, like a big, fat, tortilla brick. I haven't been able to eat anything since I finished with them, and I really don't even feel like I can take a complete and full breath. I find myself eager to go to sleep because I know that tomorrow morning, I'll feel better. Why do you hurt me so bad, tortilla chips?