Mom turns 60 tomorrow (the 25th)!

I'm at a loss for a topic tonight. I asked Mom what she thought I should blog about, and the stream of consciousness went like this:

My mother is going to be old tomorrow. She would like to have quite a bit of plastic surgery. She needs drinking and dancing lessons so she can be a cougar. She wonders what it would be like to have sex with younger men. She would like me to Photoshop Valerie Bertinelli or Courtney Cox and put her head on their bodies.
[Editor's note: The above was dictated to me, almost verbatim, by Mom, who is in mourning. She will be 60 in about an hour.]