Technically, not a dive, but a dip

So I participated in my first ever Dumpster dive this morning. Let's be clear: I didn't climb all the way inside the Dumpster, but I did enlist Brian's help to get up high enough along its lip so I could reach the bag with the handle of my umbrella. It all started with me being proactive, which is a big thing for me. I tossed out the shoe box for Brian's new shoes this morning when I took Oliver out for his walk. Later this morning, Brian decided that the shoes were too big. So we stopped next to the trash bin as we were heading out to the zoo, and I used my umbrella handle to hook the trash bag handle, and pulled it out of the Dumpster. So many of you will ask, "Why didn't Brian dive into the Dumpster himself and get the damn bag?" My answer: because Brian is a big priss about dirty stuff. "Ew, it's so dirty," I hear so often. Like I said, a priss. So more times than not, I'm the "boy" in these situations, and am the one that gets my hands dirty.
But that reminds me ... I'm still wearing the shirt I wore when I leaned against the lip of that Dumpster. Ew. That's so dirty. I've got to go put it in the laundry.