Tuesday, June 30

Brilliantly avoiding the Yahoo! home page

Do you remember how I did that thing a while ago about unfollowing the person on Facebook that makes me afraid of what may be in my feed at any given time? Well, that's working out really well for me. So I've advanced that particular narrative to another randomly upsetting facet of my life: my Firefox browser. You see, Blogger doesn't work super well in Safari, so I have Firefox as my secondary browser on my computer for it. The problem is that the Yahoo! function that decides what news stories you would prefer to see likes to put all the random stuff I don't want to see on my Firefox home page because I don't look at that Yahoo! page. Does that make sense? Yahoo! and I don't tailor the secondary Yahoo! page because I rarely use it for anything but a starting point for Firefox.
Anyway, this particular Yahoo! likes to show me upsetting stories about dogs, because I'm an animal lover, of course. These stories bother me very much, but until last night, I hadn't figured out exactly how to outsmart Firefox's Yahoo!. But then, after a fashion, it hit me. In what could very easily be considered a ridiculous light-bulb moment on par with discovering the library for myself, I realized that I could simply change the home page on Firefox to my Blogger dashboard.
And I did it.
And tonight, when I opened Firefox to do my blogging, it went straight to my dashboard page. "Do not read upsetting stories, do not collect $200." It was awesome. I'm currently super bugged at myself for not thinking of this sooner.

Monday, June 29

We watched "The Goonies" this afternoon

Today, Sydney watched The Goonies for the very first time. I wish I could tell you that she thoroughly enjoyed it, but I can't. She got freaked out by Sloth, as kids do, but tended to hide her face from the screen. She freaked out when the Fratellis held Chunk's hand and threatened to stick it in the blender. She was convinced that someone was going to die. She was a nervous wreck, and I was at a loss as to how to deal with her. This is the same child that chilled through Jurassic World.
The best I could do was reassure her that no one dies, which wasn't good because apparently the bad guys must die. I promised her that they didn't hurt Chunk, and she didn't believe me. Honestly, it was among the most frustrating experiences I've had with her. But she did very much enjoy the kids ultimately wining at the end. And she didn't understand why no one chased after the pirate ship as it sailed off into the sunset.
Sydney: "Why are they just sitting there? They can go get it, right? It's not going to sink or anything."
Me: "I've never understood why they don't go after it, either. It's theirs by way of finders keepers, so they can claim all the rich stuff inside."
Sydney: "Well, that's just silly that they don't go catch it and put it on an anchor and put it somewhere."
Me: "I agree with you totally."
Pretty exciting to see that she's going to be one of those kids that delights in pointing out the plot holes and describing how the movie is silly and nonsensical.

Sunday, June 28

A new discovery that is delicious

I got (kinda) busted snacking on one of my Creamisicles this afternoon. ... And now Brian knows that they're in the freezer. ... And now I'm all worried that he's going to start eating them, too. ... And I'm scared that there won't be one in the freezer when next I go to eat one.
I have discovered that a Creamsicle frozen ice cream bar is much less expensive than my 50/50 drinks, and bonus, it tastes much better. I rolled the dice on the bars and bought them at the grocery store last week, and it's turned into one of the better decisions I've made this summer. They're only 100 calories each, and they are tasty and refreshing.
I simply can't get enough of them. I haven't finished a box yet, but that milestone is not far away, I assure you. I sometimes wonder if other flavors could possibly taste as good, but I decide that I don't want to know, because I feel like being monogamous with the orange.

Friday, June 26

Just follow the Yellow Brick Road

ITEM!: Well, the sunburn peeling has begun ... a little bit. Brian's upper arms are totally peeling. But he's averse to lotioning regularly. Sydney had a tiny bit of peeling on her nose, but it only lasted for two hours, and the rest of her (arms and legs) has healed up lovely. No more burn or peeling for her. I haven't started peeling yet, but I feel as though it's pretty inevitable. My burn was worse than anyone else's, and even though I was liberal with my lotion, I feel like the skin on my back and shoulders is eager to slough off. And it itches, which is a good sign that the peeling is on its way.
ITEM!: I'm working on Sydney's movie summer camp for next week's afternoons, but am having a hard time filling out the agenda. The Wizard of Oz, of course. Gus and The Goonies, certainly. I would love to sit with all the Harry Potter movies, but I really, really want her to read the books and fall in love with the stories that way. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is a good one. I need to figure out the rest. Perhaps a Facebook inquiry will yield good suggestions.
ITEM!: I moved the backyard daisies into the house last Monday, having realized that they are really not doing well outside in the Arizona summer. Watering them every morning still resulted in wilting and scary-looking daisies every afternoon. But Monday, I first sprayed them with bug spray so they won't infect my other plants, and then brought them inside. I've placed them on the sill of the window at the bottom of the stairs. It's been five days, and they are so happy with their new home! They get good afternoon sun, a warmth through the window, and still are not being fried by the heat. In fact, there are some new leaves growing. All good things to keep my daisies alive for the season.
ITEM!: Today is the 25th anniversary of the hottest day ever recorded in Arizona: 122 degrees. I remember one day at school when I got home from class and the news was saying that it was 118 degrees outside at that moment. Honestly, once the temperature is above 110 degrees, it's all just "fuckin' hot." I remember we took Sydney to see the July 4th fireworks one year, and it was 107 degrees at 9 p.m. Summers in Arizona are a fascinating experience. But ugh. HOT.

Rainbows everywhere! It's a beautiful day!

I remember, more than 10 years ago, being so proud of Massachusetts, the state in which I was living at the time, for being the first state to legalize same-sex marriage. I remember blogging about it at some point, and vowing to stay registered to vote in California until same-sex marriage was legal there, too. And I remember wondering if I would even be alive to see the entire country be accepting of same-sex marriage.
It was a beautiful day when California became a tolerant state. It was a beautiful day when Arizona gave up the fight against hate, and accepted same-sex marriage, too.
Today is another beautiful day. In fact, it's a gorgeous day. It's a magnificent day, and I'm happy.
Look at the White House over there. Isn't it wonderful?
Today, the United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, giving LGBT people every right under the Constitution to marry whomever they wish. The videos and photos of people celebrating are amazing. They're inspiring. And they make me so proud to be a citizen of this country.
I'm so pleased to have been a supporter of this cause since forever, and I'm so happy for all the people that this particular ruling influences. They deserve every bit of happiness, and finally, they are granted it under the eyes of the federal and state governments.
It's a pretty good bit of knowledge, knowing that I, and my votes here and there, helped sway the mindset of the country. This needed to be done. Sixty percent of the country's polling is in favor of same-sex marriage, and all those people can't be wrong (of course they can be, but in this instance, they're totally not). There's never anything wrong with siding along with love and equality. I'm glad the Supreme Court saw it that way, too.
... What a glorious day.

Thursday, June 25

Put it on a sandwich, dammit

You know when you are cognizant of a particular issue, preference or aversion for quite some time, but then something happens, and you're forced to face that particular thing, and you realize that it really is a deep-seeded phobia, pet peeve or creepiness?
Today, I discovered how deeply that random hitch runs through my psychological get-along.
Facts: I've never been one to eat plain, naked deli meat. If we're at a deli, and the person manning the slicer offers a slice of meat to taste, I always decline. It grosses me out, this flavor of raw, thin meat. I don't like the texture, either. I've never been able to eat it straight off a deli platter. If it's deli meat, it belongs on a sandwich. Nowhere else. I can't eat it plain, and always manage to avoid watching anyone else eat it, too.
I'm super particular about the volume of chicken salad on my sandwiches in any given bite. I always redistribute the chicken salad over the bread, and remove any excess. There is such a thing as too much chicken salad on a sandwich. If I liked egg salad, I suspect I would feel the exact same about it.
My weird nightmare became a reality today when, after making chicken salad from scratch, Brian asked me to taste it fresh from the bowl. I went directly to the counter to get a Hawaiian role to taste it on. He was all, "No, just taste it. You need to know how it tastes without the sweet flavor of the roll." I'm like, "Oh no, you don't understand. I need the roll." My reaction elicited a mild snarl, but I stuck to my guns, and used the roll. The chicken salad was good, but needed more work.
He messed around with it some more, and about 20 minutes later, he asked me back into the kitchen. Once in there, I was presented with a spoon of chicken salad, and asked to "just eat it, okay? Jeez. It's just chicken salad." I capitulated, and ate it, because how bad could it be, right?
I have to tell you, a mouthful of just chicken salad, not totally refrigerated because it had just been made, seriously grossed me out. I barely was able to get it down. It was in that moment, that one moment when I truly wondered if I would be able to swallow this chicken salad, when I realized that I have a real issue with this. And all I could think about is how chicken salad belongs on a sandwich. How deli meat belongs on a sandwich. And how, now that I understood how deep my aversion ran, I would never let that happen again.

Wednesday, June 24

Picking up the bra, and putting it back on

The sunburn on my back and shoulders is obviously feeling better because today it occurred to me that it is much more annoying to have my boobs hanging free all day, then it hurts to have a bra on.
I noticed last night that my back was browning more than it was red. Today, I realized that, while my back and arms still hurt, they are feeling more like themselves, and not too painful to move around. This afternoon I discovered that going braless in hot weather invites sweaty under-boobs and increases the desire to fold one's shirt under the breasts to keep them from getting too hot. So tonight, I put on a bra for the first time since Friday (my swimsuit on Saturday doesn't count, does it?), and it felt fine. Not glorious or anything, since it's still a bra and I still have the remnants of the sunburn, but much better than nothing. I felt like a normal, dressed human female again, as well. I didn't realize how weirdly self-conscious I had become of the bralessness of my life until I put one on again, and consequently felt better inside.
Bras are weird. Over-shoulder boulder holder is the truth of it, though not at all a flattering description. Back to the life.

Tuesday, June 23

Aw, what a sweet little monster

Today is sweet Daisy's birthday, and I spent the day thinking about her a whole lot. I still miss her terribly, and find myself giggling about her eccentricities and quirks regularly. She was spectacularly awesome.
Also, I spent two hours at Barnes & Noble finding a whole lot of books to add to my library queue. And yes, I ate a couple Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
I miss my princess.

Monday, June 22

Bookended by underwear: the bad and good

ITEM!: There's something to be said for the sunburn that makes it too painful to wear a bra. Because the last two days of my life have been gloriously braless, and it's been pretty awesome. My strategy is to wear a tanktop under a t-shirt to control any excessive jiggles, and it's working really well. And it's comfortable. I'm not terribly upset at the thought of not wearing a bra again tomorrow.
ITEM!: I'd taken a bit of a break from reading over the last few days, but was pleased to dive into the newest library book on my pile this afternoon. Tuesday, I declare you a reading day.
ITEM!: However, reading day will commence after I spend some time at Barnes & Noble investigating my next batch of library requests. As well as after I visit Krispy Kreme. I have not forgotten about my lack of chocolate iced doughnuts the other day. Those two things take priority, because I'm still me.
ITEM!: Oliver and Cooper got haircuts last week, and happily, since he's lost all his locks, Oliver's been comfortable sleeping with me all night. (Remember that in the summer, it's cooler downstairs, so he tends to spend his nights down there.) I don't even need to tell you how happy this makes me, since I write about it enough. I also made his appointment for a wellness appointment and second opinion on his knee with the other vet that I liked from his teeth cleaning last year. I'm intrigued to hear what she says about him. My realistic fear is that his health prospects are not as glowing as they were last year, but let's see what the old man's issues are from a fresh pair of eyes.
ITEM!: What else? Oh yeah, my mom is awesome because she found me some of the boxer brief underwear at her local Target. Looking forward to trying them out!

Sunday, June 21

The family that sunburns together

So, a number of things contributed to my family being way too red today, some purposeful, some not so much. But all of them combined into myself, Brian and Sydney being sunburned today.

We went to the lake yesterday, and thoroughly enjoyed several hours on and in the water. PURPOSEFUL.
Sydney forgot her long-sleeve rash guard, so we had to settle for the short-sleeve "extra" rash guard I had put in the bag. ACCIDENTAL.
I consciously decided to not bring my own long-sleeve rash guard, thinking that I would just be fine with the sunscreen. PURPOSEFUL.
Even a ridiculous amount of sunscreen can not keep an active, water-obsessed child from getting too much sun when she's been outside for nine hours. ACCIDENTAL.
Brian put on the sunscreen, too, but we're just not as diligent with ourselves as we are with our kid. ACCIDENTAL.
Nine hours on the lake. PURPOSEFUL.

Anyway, today was a day full up of lotion; drinking lots of water to combat the dehydration; and time inside, hidden away from the sun. It was exactly what Brian wanted for his Father's Day (coincidental, but perfect for our situation), and worked out well for all three of us. I figure that by tomorrow morning, we'll all feel a lot better. At least that's what I'm hoping.
Mother-daughter bonding moment: Sydney and I traded lotion duties. I did her arms and legs, she did my back.

Friday, June 19

The perfect summer panties, if you can find them

Okay, do you see these?
These awesome panties that are awesome? It's not a particularly good photo since I took it kinda quick and blurry at Target this morning. But they are cotton, boxer briefs, that go to mid-thigh.
As a person who tends to chafe a bit between my legs in the summer season when wearing a dress or skirt, I am incredibly intrigued by them. In fact, I need them, and I need them bad.
So what's the problem? Well, clearly there are a whole lot of women out there who also have discovered these cotton beauties, because they have bought them all. Every single time I visit my Target, I check out the panties selection. All that's ever there are size small and medium. The irony here is that women who wear small or medium panties don't really have the chafing issue, if you know what I mean. Their thighs don't touch and rub in the middle, to put it simply.
So here's my gripe, Hanes and Target: if you know that these panties are selling like frickin' hotcakes, then how the heck can you not be stocking them like crazy? How are there ever empty shelves for them? I mean, shit, I'd totally wear them during the winter months, too, because they look brilliant and comfortable. I checked the Target web site: sold out. Hanes web site: doesn't have them. Macy's, JC Penney, and everywhere else: don't have them.
Am I forced to buy men's boxer briefs in order to be comfortable in my dresses and skirts this season? Is that what I must be reduced to? Perhaps. And if that's the case, I'll be sure to tell you all.

Thursday, June 18

Healthier, but definitely less graceful

I managed to fall down at the groomers today while trying to pick Oliver up to show off the super big wart on his leg, and now my knee is bruising and hurts. It was my intention to enjoy this day, the first in a while where I had any energy at all. I woke up this morning not bemoaning my nose and its snotty existence. I managed to get all my kids out of the house on time.
But then, I opened the door to the garage over my toes and hurt them.
And then, Sydney forgot her glasses.
And then, I fell on the tile floor.
And then, it was super hot outside and I got all sweaty just walking the kid to camp check-in.
But after all that, Brian and I went to the movies and saw Spy. I highly recommend it.
Also, there was Costco.
So, I guess the lesson to be learned here is that the dog will always be heavier than you think at that moment so be sure to have better footing when attempting to lift him. Because now I have a bruise on my knee which is ridiculous.
But I am feeling better, so there's that.

Tuesday, June 16

It's a slow news week, people

I've got nothing going on lately except reading and being sick.
BEING SICK: I can gauge the state of my health on how difficult it is for me to breathe. At this moment, I'm able to breathe quite easily, so I know my throat is feeling better. My nose isn't stuffed up, either, though that it probably thanks to DayQuil. I was only able to nap for 90 minutes this morning, after a four-hour nap yesterday, so there's that. All these things are positive, as I was becoming very concerned that I would not ever recover from this particular cold and badness. I know that I've mentioned before that being in my 40s seems to mean that it takes me longer to recover from illnesses and nights out with the girls.
READING: I finished reading the book I needed to return tomorrow, and it was quite good. I've already put the second in the series on my request list. I also read/skimmed Amy Poehler's Yes Please, so that's ready to turn in, too. I've discovered that while funny people write funny things, I don't have much of a taste for humorous essays/memoirs/books. I know the Cary Elwes book, as well as Mindy Kaling's book, was a bit difficult to get through. When I started Poehler's book yesterday, I was immediately bored and meh about it. But the skimming and only reading what intrigued me served me well tonight, and I can say that I enjoyed the essays and chapters I read, and I don't feel like I missed anything. That'll be my go-to reading style for those kinds of books in the future.
See? Not a whole lot going on this week.

Monday, June 15

Books are a gift! Appreciate and read them!

For the first time since this library love affair began, I am officially rushing through a book because it's due soon. Dorothy Must Die is due back to the library on Wednesday. I started it today. Of course, finishing it by Wednesday afternoon won't be a problem. I'm a third through it already. But I don't like this feeling of a ticking clock over my head, being all, "Finish the book or you'll lose it forever."
And I can't renew it right now, because someone else has requested it. Is that how this works? Someone else gets to take back the book I'm reading just because they want it? Either turn it in so Random Person can read it, or we'll charge you 20 cents a day?
Whatever. I mean, it's fine. Because I will be done with it on time. But still.
Also, I have another book on the bookshelf, the fourth of the Scot Harvath series by Brad Thor, Blowback, to read next. And the third book of the Lunar Chronicles, Cress, by Marissa Meyer, is waiting for me at the library. And Amy Poehler's book, Yes Please, is downstairs waiting for its turn to be read.
So many books, and it's all wonderful!

Sunday, June 14

#dessertdecisionquandary ... or something like that

I'm in need of Midnight Snack, and I can't decide what I want to eat. The fudge stripe cookies downstairs in the pantry aren't doing it for me tonight. There are only two left, so I really should eat them just so they'll have served their purpose. But really, I'm jonesing for something else. I just don't know what that is.
Is it a different kind of cookie?
Or a different kind of dessert altogether?
Cheesecake? Cupcake? Ice cream? Creamsicle drink?
I'm at a loss. Also, because I'm kinda lazy.
I mean, I will definitely find the energy to go downstairs to take care of this situation, make no mistake. My lack of Midnight Snack options are frustrating me this evening is all. Such is my day.
Because dessert will make my almost-a-cold go away faster, too, right?

Saturday, June 13

Two great movies that taste great together

We watched two perfectly lovely movies today. Perfectly lovely in their own way, of course.
Jurassic World was awesome in the dinosaur way, where all the crashing, slashing and eating was action-packed and fabulous. The best part was Sydney's thorough and utter love for the film. She was so excited to be seeing it, and loved every single bit of it. It's a good sign when the kid is talking about buying the DVD before we're even out of the theater, right?
And then Brian and I watched The Duff, which was amazing in an entirely different way. It was in the clever, relatable, fantastic way that coming-of-age movies are made nowadays. (Wow, how old did that statement make me sound?) I'm completely enamored with this one, folks, and heartily recommend it.
It wasn't the movie trifecta in a day, but I'm intrigued to see what we decide to watch tomorrow.

Thursday, June 11

Hot flashes are my new reality

I've had the most bizarre pre-menopausal menstrual cycle this month.
It must be pre-menopause, I've decided, because I'm getting hot flashes. Besides those, I'm getting weird bad cramps. And also, I've got a bronchial, achy sickness (not related to menopause, but still plaguing me). So, all those things are making for an incredibly irritating situation for me.
I'm relatively okay with dealing with the weird cramps, but these hot flashes have got to go. They are typically hitting me in the morning, just as we're leaving the house, if you can believe that. All of a sudden I feel like my internal temperature is at 104 degrees, and there's not a thing on earth that can cool me down. These hot flashes only last for a little while, and they're only on the two days of my period, but it feels like my body is all, "Okay, you've got a short cycle, so I'mma let you finish, but I'm also gonna make it worse on you during those limited days."
Yesterday's was worse, as it was the first day, but today's was an interesting complement. Also, much to my despair, bad mood swings come along with the hot flashes. And that's fun.
Of course there are hormone treatments and such, but I'm still super early in this game, so I'm not ready to complain to my doctor yet. I'm not even 100 percent positive that this is what I'm dealing with, but with the evidence continuing to be consistent over the last few months, I'm pretty sure. So far, my 40s are awesome (she said sarcastically, in case you didn't know).

Wednesday, June 10

This week's obsession entertains well

Bizarre new addiction: Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, with Jerry Seinfeld. In this web series, Seinfeld borrows a cool car, picks up a fellow comedian, and they go have coffee somewhere. The series has been around for a few years, but I only just discovered it a week or so ago, and I've been slowly powering through segments including people I know and enjoy. Each show is 15 to 18 minutes or so, and are quite entertaining.
While I enjoyed Seinfeld as a pop-culture phenomenon, I was never a huge fan of the show. I've seen them all probably, but it was never appointment, obsessive television for me. Which makes my love of this random little invention of Seinfeld's feel kinda like I've missed the boat entirely on him.
But there's something to be said for listening in while people who enjoy each other's company and conversation spend the day and drink coffee together. What I like the most is how genuine and honest they are with each other: Rocky Gervais is a nervous car passenger. Michael Richards addressed the nightclub fiasco from years ago. Steve Harvey rolling his eyes about having to apologize for a joke. Sarah Silverman checking how much Seinfeld tipped on the lunch. Julia Louis-Dreyfus being awesome.
This show is all golden, and I'm loving it. I'm deep into season two right now, and excited that I have another three full seasons to get through. Check it out; I recommend.

Tuesday, June 9

The old fart needs attention, and that's that

I've got Oliver on my mind.
1.) His knee and leg are still bothering him, in that he still is limping and he's still not putting all his weight on the leg. We've started going on short walks, but I think I'll stop for a while again, because he had a hard time today, and I ended up carrying him part of the way to the mailbox and most of the way home.
2.) It's time for a second opinion. I like his current vet, but their distance is giving me fits lately, their medicine prices are becoming difficult to deal with, and I really just don't know if I like it there anymore. I really liked the doctor that we saw for his teeth cleaning at the other vet's office last year, so I'll be calling them for an appointment. I just want a full-body check from someone who hasn't already diagnosed something. I need fresh eyes on him, and a different perspective. My stress levels about the old fart are increasing, and I need to put my mind at ease, at least a little bit. That'll happen with the no walking for a while and the second opinion, I know.
3.) He needs more glucosamine, and that is high on my priority list for tomorrow.
4.) The last few mornings, because I've been able to sleep in, have been pretty awesome. Brian's been bringing Oliver upstairs with him when he gets ready for work, and has been putting Ollie on the bed with me. So, happiest of all happies, I've been waking up to the feeling of my old man cuddling next to me, and even rolling over tummy side up, and snuggling. No kidding, waking up with that dog next to me puts me in a much better frame of mind to start my day.
5.) He needs a bath. Like, BADLY. And not a home bath, either. He needs a visit to the groomers. I can't wash him as thoroughly as they can, and I'm positive he's much more cooperative with them than he is with me.

Monday, June 8

Propane-nophobia? Whatever. The fear is real

Okay, my friends! Kimmie has realized a PHOBIA.
I fear propane.
I mean, I knew that I had a particularly leery approach to the propane tanks. Honestly, all it takes are a few movies where the tanks explode and kill people around them, to make anyone hesitate to be near them. But I didn't realize how deep my random phobia was until Brian asked me to take the barbecue's propane tank and get a full replacement.
My first thought: um, hell no. I will not be transporting a tank of propane in my car.
Then I tried to rationalize why I couldn't do it. And I texted him my phobia-focused responses: you still have plenty of chicken in the fridge; I have never detached a tank from the barbecue. He didn't reply, and his lack of response to my excuses shamed me, I guess, so I cowboyed-up and did it.
I unscrewed the tank under the barbecue, and grabbed the extra tank I had from the neighbor's old barbecue that's been sitting in the backyard for months because I was afraid to take it to Lowe's by myself. I put both tanks outside the yard, and then put them in the trunk of my car. Sydney and I got in the car and I carefully and slowly drove out of the community. Every time we turned a corner out of the housing area, I freaked. I heard one tank roll on its side and run into the other. I freaked out. At the stoplight, I made Sydney get out of the backseat and sit in the front passenger seat. In my head, the three feet farther away from the trunk and tanks she was, the better.
I felt much better to get the tanks out of my car and leave them at Lowe's. But then, the issue with getting a full tank home was ahead of me. As when I brought them there, I brought it home: the propane is in the trunk, and Sydney is in the front seat. I could not get home and get that tank out of the car and into the backyard fast enough, though I still drove extremely carefully and much slower than I normally do.
When Brian got home, he was surprised that I'd done it. He had taken my excuse about not ever detaching the tank before as a good reason to not do it. So he was prepared to do it himself when he got home. While we were discussing it, I told him about my extreme precautions, and explained to him that, for whatever reason, I am super scared of propane. I don't like it, and won't deal with it again. I said to him, "Don't ask me. If you do, I'll tell you straight up, no." He laughed, of course, but felt bad about me dealing with it as I did.
And then, in my head, I was all, "Holy crap, Kimberly, you have a serious issue with propane. It's a phobia."

Sunday, June 7

Sunday is as Sunday does

ITEM!: I gotta tell you, this library experiment is going extremely well. I've been flying through books, and am totally in love with the request-a-book function on the local library web site. What I enjoy the most is not having to buy all the books I want to read. I just picked up Amy Poehler's Yes Please today, and while it is third in line right now, I'm super excited to read it.
ITEM!: My 50/50 drink today was pretty good for an inaugural flight, but there are some changes I need to implement for the next one. First of all, three scoops of ice cream instead of two. Also, the ice cream needs to soften before adding the soda; it took too long for the ingredients to mix together. Aside from that, it was delicious.
ITEM!: The NBA is not a thing for me. I don't care about basketball, and I really don't like watching it. I do, inexplicably, like LeBron James. I also like it when random franchises win championships. So you can see my dilemma with watching the finals this week, enjoying both the Cleveland Cavaliers and Golden State Warriors and their quest for a championship. But tonight, I discovered that I would really rather see LeBron win, because the overtime had me stressing out.
ITEM!: I woke up with a sore throat this morning, which was not good. I've instituted the Sick Mom Protocol, which means no one gets near my face, and only elbow kisses. The ick went away for most of the day, but tonight it's back, if lessened. Still, I could think of a thousand things better than not feeling well this week.

Saturday, June 6

So excited for my snack tomorrow!

How we managed to (potentially) ruin my waistline at the grocery store today, in three easy steps:
1.) Brian wanted a big vat of salsa to eat over his barbecued chicken. We found a large bottle of a salsa that he likes. And then he's all, "What do you need to enjoy the salsa, too? Let's get you some chips." And that's how the huge, family-size bag of cantina-style Tostitos ended up in the pantry. I ate some already.
2.) Keebler fudge stripe cookies were on sale for only $1.88, and it's been so long since I treated myself to cookies. And that's how the cookies ended up in the pantry. I ate some already.
3.) My wonderment on how easy it would be to make my own 50/50 drinks at home, with the vanilla ice cream and the orange soda, became a quest somehow, and now I have all the fixin's to make them. I don't like buying vanilla ice cream because it's not a real flavor and it's what ice cream begins with to make flavors, but it's what the drink requires. My Safeway actually carries the Stewart's orange soda, so that was easy. ... And that's how the ice cream and orange soda ended up in my freezer and refrigerator, respectively. I have not eaten any, because it's going to be my treat for tomorrow afternoon. I need to have the proper balance of hunger and timing before I attempt that little beauty.

Also, we watched the ridiculatta that is Jupiter Ascending on iTunes today, and I think I may love it. Mila Kunis and Channing Tatun were not treated well with this script, but I enjoyed the cheesiness of the movie, and when it arrives on whichever of my movie channels, I will watch it over and over.
... While I enjoy my 50/50s.

Friday, June 5

Are you freakin' kidding me?

Bullshit is waiting 20 minutes in the Krispy Kreme drive-thru line only to be told that they were all out of chocolate iced doughnuts for the day. I told the girl, "Those doughnuts are the only reason why I'm here today!" Again, an apology.
I had to settle for the original glazed doughnuts, which really were a waste of calories and I didn't really like them much. I ate them, of course, because I had to participate in the day, and because I won't waste perfectly good doughnuts, but I was not at all happy about it.
I think one of the worst things ever is to have to spend calories on a snack that isn't what I wanted. A super huge disappointment in a day that should have been more awesome. The worst part was that I was actually in line this morning first, but then left because the gas light was on, and I knew that if I ran out of gas in the drive-thru line, people would be pissed. I made the grown-up decision to leave the line, get gas, and come back for my doughnuts before lunch. Well, there it was, 11:30 a.m., and yet, there were none of my doughnuts.
Obviously, I don't even need to tell you that I'll be going back there for my chocolate iced doughnuts next week. I have an itch that needs to be scratched. I'm not even kidding.

Thursday, June 4

A couple chocolate iced would be lovely

Tomorrow is National Doughnut Day. So many doughnut shops across the country will be handing out free doughnuts, and I think that's fantastic. So, do I make the move and spend the time in line at Krispy Kreme? Even though, NO DOUBT, the chocolate-iced doughnut that I prefer will probably not be among the free offerings?
But check out those doughnuts right there. They look so delicious.
I think I'm going to roll the dice and see what happens tomorrow.
Because, after all, it's a legitimate reason to eat doughnuts. It's something I really should do for my country. And far be it for me to deny a special day.
Also, Dunkin' Donuts makes the best hot chocolate, but their doughnuts taste like day-old Krispy Kremes.

Wednesday, June 3

Okay, Netflix, you've got me now

When I failed to get super involved with House of Cards, I questioned the power that Netflix's original programming could have on me. I mean, House of Cards was supposed to be the end all be all of television shows on the service. And it did nothing for me.
But then Mom and I watched Grace and Frankie last week while she was out here visiting, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. And then, over the course of yesterday and today, I watched the entirety of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It was ... silly, certainly. But also strangely intriguing. And by the end of it, I was in. To the point where I sounded like a crazy person who'd been watching a soap opera for 10 years when I tried to explain the plots to Brian when he got home ... during the last episode of the season. It was a charming show, and one that I'll probably watch when/if the second season comes around.
Next up on my queue is Daredevil, the Marvel superhero show that is supposed to be super good. I doubt I'll get to it tomorrow, since Brian will be home, but it's definitely on for Friday.
I've decided to start burning through my Netflix Watch Instantly queue, and it's a good feeling. I also watched Dear Mr. Watterson, a documentary about a guy honoring the artist behind Calvin & Hobbes, Bill Watterson. I've got Blackfish on there too, but that one kinda scares me for how horrible it is.

Tuesday, June 2

Batting .500, sorta, for the year

Well, I feel better having avoided my Facebook Poison Person for the day, and I'm encouraged to continue the trend.
So, my dears, it's June 2. Should we take a look at this year's EXPECTATIONs, and see how we're doing? (I think not well.)
1.) Publish the book. CHECK. (Though, ugh, really.)
2.) Start on book two. ... Um. I have no response to that.
3.) Cleanse and purge the house. CHECK. I have a pile of stuff for Mom's garage sale, or Goodwill, if need be.
4.) Make Gammage my friend again. ...*sad face*
5.) Join the gym. ... Nope. Still pudgy.
6.) Stuff for the house. ... Nope.
7.) Find Brian a better job. ... Remarkably, this is actually happening. We are truly moving forward in that respect.
8.) Better keep up with magazines. CHECK.
9.) Do better with birthdays. CHECK.
10.) Vacation. ... Nope.
At this very moment, we're super close to having taken care of half of the EXPECTATIONs at the halfway point of the year. That's better than last year, I think. I'm pleased to see that me getting a job isn't on this list, because really, that doesn't seem to be anything that's going to happen soon.
... Happy June!

Monday, June 1

DO NOT stress my universe

So here's the thing. I am "friends" with someone on Facebook, and "follow" them to get regular updates. Sometimes, there's some real, but vague, updates and informational posts, but most times, this person shares not-quite motivational quotes, cheesy "Like if you believe" things, and socially provocative news pieces and shares. Whenever she is called out on FB for anything, she gets really angry and defensive really quick, and is super speedy to rip into anyone. Also, she has a tendency to passive aggressively bitch about her friends and family in status updates. All this is when she doesn't need help. At those times, she's asking for handouts and "if you have but don't want" items. The things she says and advocates are depressing, deliberately instigating, and/or pandering.
Today, while scrolling through my feed, I came across a post from her, in which she shared a photo of text. Someone called her out on the text used in that photo, and suggested that she be more discreet on Facebook. And then the backlash. What I said about becoming immediately defensive and angry? Open the gates. She typed out a 100-word screed about how this other person should back off (I paraphrase), and leave her alone to talk however she wants. The screed itself was poorly written, spelled horrendously, and made little to no sense. All these things made me happily agree with the initial commenter. The commenter replied, sensibly. This was earlier.
But tonight, there was another comment from the angry person, replying to the commenter's second note. My stomach turned just when I read that there was a response, and I was, no kidding, afraid to read it. Who knew what the hell she was going to say back?
I decided, at that moment, to stop following this person on Facebook. I have issues with having someone in my feed who may or may not upset me emotionally or psychologically at any moment. I will not fear my news feed and what it may contain. It's like worrying about getting flashed on the subway. You should be safe, but who knows what may be around the corner?
So, this person is no longer being followed, and I feel good about that. I'd unfriend, really I would, but this is a sole mode of communication. So, I unfollow, and no longer worry about what will be in my feed throughout the day. Because she needs to get her shit together, and I'm tired of reading about her failing at it. I'm tired of reading about her issues, difficulties and attitudes. I'm super tired of reading about her friends and their attitudes.
This should be a new Facebook for me, and I'm eager for it to begin. Enrich my Facebook life, and I'll keep you around. Stress my universe, and you get kicked to the curb.

Alumni mag, please validate me

I completely spaced on writing to my alumni magazine last month after the name snafu, and me being an "and Ms." instead of a full-fledged human being on the address listing. This month's magazine showed up this past weekend though, and this morning, I took care of the situation.

Good morning!
I received my [COLLEGE]
Magazine this weekend, and was dismayed to discover that I have been relegated to being an "And Ms." on the address listing. I don't mind sharing a [COLLEGE] Magazine with my husband, but I really didn't go to school, and work hard for my own alumni status there, so that I could be an "And Ms."
Would you do me the kindness of changing our address listing?
Currently, it is "Mr. and Ms. [NAME]."
I would better appreciate "Brian and Kimberly [NAME]," please.
Thank you so much for your help and time in fixing this!
Have a great day,
Alumni, class of '96

I figured this showed the proper amount of not-being-a-bitch, but also plenty of being-offended by it all. Let's see what kind of response I get.

30-MINUTES-LATER UPDATE: Because my school is awesome, and no doubt I'm not the first person who's complained, I have already gotten a response.
Hello Kimberly,
Thank you for contacting the [COLLEGE] Alumni Association.
We understand and would like to honor your wishes.
Would it be acceptable to you if we show the mailing label as noted below? We have to follow one of two formats (the Mr. and Ms. or the one below) and we hope this will be better suited for you.
Mr. Brian G.
Ms. Kimberly G.

Please let us know.
Thank you!
[AWESOME COLLEGE] Alumni Association
I have already replied that yes, this would be fine, and thank you for taking care of it for me. I feel better now.
... Case closed, and mischief managed. ...
Now, if Brian wants a "Dr." he's going to have to take care of that himself.