Squirrels, I imagine, have little poops

Oh my goodness, did I not have just one of those afternoons today. And you know what? I'm gonna get descriptive with you.
My baby girl ... my angel ... my sweet darling ... pulled off her poopy diaper after her nap this afternoon, and proceeded to play, yes play, with the poopy inside, allowing it to fall all over the bed. From there, it got gross, with the child stepping all over it, smooshing it around her bed, and all over her blankets, toys and crib paraphernalia. Imagine my surprise upon entering the room to take her out of her crib.
Her hands were crusty with poop; she had peed in a puddle; and the room smelled nasty. It took me a beat of 15 seconds, no joke, before I could even figure out what to make of the situation. And what's the baby's reaction to my reaction? "Hi, Momma!" And she then danced around her poop-laden crib, butt naked and thinking it was a funny thing.
I guess I began with her hands: I pulled out the wipes, trying to minimize the ick, but finally just gave up. She chilled in the poopy crib while I went in and started a bath for her. I picked her up (back to me so she couldn't touch me with her poopy hands) and walked her into the tub. From there, I left the child to play with the toys and water (Do you think me bad for leaving a toddler in a bathtub by herself? Piss off. Next time, you come over and clean it up while I watch her frolic in the water), while I used toilet paper to pick up the poop pieces to flush down the toilet; stripped the bed; tossed the used diaper in the pail; and carried it all -- stuffed animals, sheet, mattress pad, blankets and clothes -- to the washer and started the first load to be cleaned. With that done, I got out my Clorox disinfectant spray to clean the mattress and to remove the POOPY HANDPRINTS from the crib slats. (Jeez, can you believe this story?)
So now, with the room stripped clean and in a disarray, but finally poop free, I was able to cleanse the baby herself. But get this: With the bath done, and lotion applied, the kid frickin' squats right there and pees all over the bathmat. HONESTLY! I was shocked into silence, if you must know. Could I handle anymore anything being evicted from that little body today? Would you believe me if I told you that she pooped TWICE more before going to bed tonight?
Someone tell me that this happens to every parent of a toddler! Or was she actually plotting against me in some weird and smelly way? Ack!!