Aromatherapy scrub and rub, and the gold

The Summer Olympics begin Friday, or at least the major coverage of them does, as that's the night of the Opening Ceremonies. After that day, I will be Olympics tied and proud of it, though I'll avoid almost all spoilers as best I can. I will hope beyond hope that Facebook and Instagram will be decent to me; though I have no such wish with Twitter. Twitter is a deep crevasse of hopelessness, rage and anonymity, so I don't believe for a second that it will be decent ... ever.
In light of the Olympics, and my aspirations for the Games, I chose this avatar. Because I believe that if I could win gold in any sport, it would be Olympic Spa competition. I believe that I would enjoy a massage, scrub and facial much more than anyone else, thereby, obviously, earning me a gold medal in congeniality of some kind. I would be on time and in my robe for any spa service, garnering me high points for promptness. I would sit in the sauna and steam room to prepare for my contests, just like any other athlete. And then I would take on the awesome responsibility of subjecting myself to spa conditions, thereby proving my endurance.
I'm telling you, this could be a thing. Cue the national anthem.