Sydney: "Umm..." Hemming and hawing, of course.
Me: "Don't lie; just tell me."
Sydney: "Okay, you know that red ball? Well, there was some water on the desk and I put the ball in it, and then all of a sudden, there was red water, and I tried to dry it."
Me: "Was that so hard? To just tell me the truth?" Eyeballing the kid.
Sydney: "I don't know why that's the first thing I want to do, but it is. I need to stop lying about stuff."
Me: "Indeed. Monster."
Once in bed, she obviously decided that not having lied about the red mark was the way to go, and directly, I had the confession that I didn't know I was waiting for. Apparently, the Burt's Bees lip balm mess on the floor of the office from several weeks ago didn't really go down as a melted Burt's at all. Apparently, she got some on her fingers while playing with it as she's not supposed to, and decided that it was cool that the Burt's made her fingers all slippery. So APPARENTLY, she then had the brilliant idea to smear the Burt's LIP balm all over her FEET, and sit in the chair sliding said feet back and forth on the hardwood floor, LIKE SHE WAS ICE SKATING. I mean, honestly. What the f*ck kind of experiment is that? And then she panicked when she heard me walking up the stairs. Like, holy shit. She then told me a lie; I busted that lie; but in so doing, she gave herself MORE TIME to come up with a SECOND lie? That is some f*cked up daughtering there for that kid. And I'm the sucker that believed the second lie.
How the hell am I supposed to believe anything she tells me? Like, really. How do I trust, when she can obviously lie the shit out of a situation, and follow it up convincingly if she lets me catch the first lie? It's like a dummy lie, and the real one is the backup. So sneaky.
But I took the truth like a champ, by not getting too mad about it since it's totally water under the bridge (idiom). So now she'll feel more comfortable telling me the truth, I guess? Or do I need to follow every question with, "Don't lie; just tell me"?
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