Better than a movie

I had papers that needed to be shredded.
If you take your papers to Office Depot, they'll shred it for you for 99 cents a pound.
Wait. Let's clarify. Either you can trust the guys at Office Depot, give the papers to them and let them toss them all in a bin in the back of the store and have it shredded by Iron Mountain when the big truck gets there, OR you can shred it yourself in the store's own shredder, in stacks for four or five sheets at a time, in the Business Services portion of the store. You know, that second one, if you're untrusting. Also, either option costs 99 cents per pound.
PRIOR TO FINDING THAT OUT: As we were walking up to the store, Brian says to me, "Do we get to shred it ourselves, or do we have to let some random person take all our papers unshredded? What's the point of that? What if that guy just takes something and puts it in his pocket instead of in the shredder? Defeats the purpose."
You can therefore conclude which option we took. I had all our papers in a box. I made sure that the young man weighed our box, but then not charge us for the weight of the box itself. Just over 16 pounds of paper, including box. The guy says he'll only charge me for 14 pounds. Fair trade.
Also, he says, here's the shredder. AND THE 14 POUNDS OF PAPER.
Cut to me trying to push the paper through the shredder while Brian tries to read all the papers I've collected for shredding. This, obviously, is a recipe for disaster, and somehow (I would brag about my machinations, but I'm still not sure how I did it), I switched our places, so I was handing the papers to Brian, who was consumed by the task of sliding them into the shredder without jamming it by stacking too many sheets at once.
As couples' activities go, as a rule, I probably would not usually suggest shredding papers at an Office Depot. However, on this particular day, with the kid in school and me feeling better as a human, it turned out to be pretty okay. We giggled, reminisced about bills and papers from when we lived in Boston, and sighed and smiled about when our life was easier, and the credit cards had ONLY a four-digit balance.
We were there so long that the kid forgot how much my paper weighed, and only charged me for 12 pounds. A win/win.