I don't really like him a whole lot anymore

Confession (though some of you have known this for a long time): I used to have the crush of all crushes on Charlie Sheen, the actor. Oh, I had posters, magazine covers and movies starring him all through my room, so whenever I wanted, I could look at him. I was totally excited when someone I knew told me where, exactly, Sheen's house was in Malibu. I drove there a couple times, just to see it. I knew, in my heart, that should Sheen ever choose me to spend his life with, we would be an incredibly happy twosome. And then, I heard about the hookers. The hookers dressed like cheerleaders. This was a particular insult, because there was no way I would ever be a cheerleader. I quickly fell out of love, and decided that Sheen, sadly, was too dirty for me.
Since then, I have watched Sheen's life play out in the tabloids. He's kind of a train wreck for me: I don't want to look, but I kinda have to. Lately, he's been more gross as a person than usual. My disgust grows with every article about him. But today, this article made me giggle.

Cops: Second Sheen car taken, rolled off LA cliff
(AP) LOS ANGELES – For the second time in five months, a Mercedes-Benz owned by Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen was stolen and sent off Mulholland Drive near his Santa Monica Mountains home, authorities said Tuesday.
Firefighters responding to a report of a traffic accident found the silver Mercedes S600 about 100 feet down a brushy ravine around 3 a.m., Fire Department spokesman Eric Scott said.
Nobody was in the car.
The car showed no signs of forced entry, police Officer Bruce Borihanh said. He could not confirm television reports that the keys were in the ignition.
However, the car was running and had its lights on, fire Battalion Chief Peter Benesch said.
Police officers checked the plates of the 2010 vehicle and confirmed it was Sheen's, Officer Norma Eisenman said.
Someone apparently took the luxury car from Sheen's Sherman Oaks driveway, where it was parked Monday afternoon and the actor didn't know it was missing, Eisenman said. Officers impounded the vehicle to fingerprint it, she said.
Sheen publicist Stan Rosenfield did not immediately return a phone message seeking comment.
The car was found in the same area off Mulholland Drive where another Mercedes owned by Sheen was found on Feb. 5. That black, four-door car apparently was stolen from Sheen's garage in a gated community and pushed or driven over the cliff, where it came to rest upside down, police said. Sheen had left the keys inside.
A Bentley was later found off the same road nearby, and police said three other cars reportedly were broken into in the same area.
No arrests have been made.