Yay fireworks!! But WHERE??

I'm at a loss for plans on July 4th. I've got a few good ideas, though.
Idea #1: Go to the Diamondbacks game on Saturday night, watch the game in cool air conditioned comfort, and then enjoy the fireworks display from our seats in the stadium through the open roof. For obvious, air-conditioned reasons, I am liking this idea a whole lot.
Idea #2: The Phoenix Zoo has a ticketed event on Sunday, the 4th, which includes catered barbecue food, fun in the dancing fountains, night tours, and seating on Zoo property where we'll be able to see Tempe's huge fireworks display. This idea is good because of the ease of parking, food, cool activities for before the show, and not having to cram onto the frickin' hot sand to watch it.
Idea #3: Go to Tempe Beach Park, where the show will be great, but we'll have to find space on the frickin' hot sand, where a ton of other people will be, being bored until the fireworks start, and sweating, sweating, sweating. Ick.
Idea #4: Stay home, in the air conditioning, and watch fireworks on television.
I'm of a mind to roll with either Idea #1 or #2. Yes, cost, but comfort in the fireworks experience is highly desirable. I've given Brian all these options, and have allowed him some time to consider each one.

Shoes! My kingdom for some shoes!!

Here's a fun bit of trivia for you. I think I may be able to claim that I'm close to that $25,000 average at approximately half my life. HA!!

Women Spend Nearly $25,000 on Shoes Over a Lifetime, Study Finds
Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, we may not be the old woman who literally lived in her shoes, but we're pretty darn close!
According to a new survey of 3,000 women, the average woman spends £16,410 (nearly $25,000) on shoes over her lifetime, the Daily Express reports. Conducted by British insurance company GoCompare.com, the study found that women spend an average of £34.99 (about $53) per pair (we wish), which adds up to £244.93 (almost $370) per year, and $16,410 over 67 years, according to the paper.
The average woman reportedly also owns 19 pairs of shoes, which includes three heels; six pairs of flip-flops, sandals, ballet flats or wedges; three pairs of boots; two pairs of work shoes; four pairs of "foxy-style" shoes for hitting the town; and a "random" pair.
Ha -- amateurs.
The study also claims that gals buy seven pairs of shoes per year, totaling 469 pairs in a lifetime.
We're gonna need a bigger closet.
Not surprisingly, four out of 10 women reportedly admitted to judging females based on their footwear, while more than half didn't feel guilty about buying new shoes, though 25 percent keep their purchases secret from their boyfriends who "wouldn't understand."
"Shoes are women's one major weakness," Hayley Parsons of GoCompare.com told the paper.
If only!

~ is obviously looking for some help!

Let's make up a bunch of relevant Facebook statuses for my blog post tonight.
Kimmie G ...
~ won a FREE lunch from one of her favorite sandwich shops, by being randomly selectable and posting a comment to its Facebook page. I got a shout-out on the shop's page, and e-mailed Jason, who is supposed to set up the certificate. I think Katy, Sydney and I will be going on Friday.
~ didn't like the Marriott's kids' pool as much as she enjoys Nicole and Ella's awesome community pool. The water wasn't as warm as I would have liked; it wasn't deep enough for the girls to swim; the amenities were lacking; and did I mention, also wasn't as warm.
~ watched Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief this afternoon. It was good! We had no expectations, and were pleasantly surprised.
~ is looking for a babysitter so she can drag her husband to see Eclipse this weekend! Could someone I know, love, and trust please, please, please move to Phoenix so I can have a free babysitter? Is that too much to ask?
~ has a bunch of folded laundry to hang up, but is avoiding it like the plague. It's crazy how many shirts I have on the bed over there. But they scare me. There are so many of them! I think they may be multiplying while I sleep every night. (Yes, the pile has been there for about four days.) Honestly, the pile is about two feet tall.
~ went to bed early last night, but will not be doing so this night. Which sucks. I like going to be early. Oh well. At least I don't have to be at the gym at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning.
~ is accepting donations for her new iPhone 4. ($200? Anyone? Anyone?)

Farming on the go

I got crazy giddy when I heard that FarmVille was releasing an app for the iPhone. FarmVille, as some of you know, is my ridiculous online obsession. And the knowledge that I could maintain my farm from anywhere, so long as I had a cell connection, was a lovely bit of information. Then, I downloaded the app. It's slow, won't load all the way, and is incredibly inefficient ... so far. I mean, I've only tried it three or four times. Still, in conversation with Brian about it today, he suggested that it would be better of I installed the app on the iPad. I thought, sure, that would be better.
While the app itself is not designed for the iPad, it can still be installed on it. And let me tell you, farming on the iPad is indeed easier and better than farming on the iPhone. In fact, the ability to do my farming and blogging from the iPad makes it no longer a necessity to take the laptop on my trips out to California. (Though I'll probably take it anyway. There's something to be said for a normal keyboard.) Through the iPad, I was able to harvest, plow and plant some new crops, buy some special Apple-only rainbow apple trees for the farm, and even tend to my animals. This is a good thing, my friends. I'll never have wilted crops again. Yay farming!!

Are you mad as a hatter?

I didn't think I would thoroughly enjoy Alice in Wonderland, but I did. I'm not usually much of a Tim Burton fan, though I do love me some Johnny Depp. Brian bought the DVD a few weeks ago, and it's been sitting on the movie shelf since then. I was unexpectedly pleased when he chose it as our Saturday night movie.
Now, I'm super glad we watched it, because it was way cuter than I had thought it would be! Conclusions: Sure, Depp was creepy, but that was his character's charm; I loved the actress who played Alice; and my goodness, if I could get even half of Alice's dresses hanging in my closet, I would be so happy! Especially the red one!!
The movie itself was visually stunning, and coolly colorful. Also, it had a neat bit of emotional heft to it. I had fun looking through movie pics to find something to post here on the blog! In a nutshell and down a rabbit hole, I would recommend!

Cherry blossoms, because they're pretty

ITEM!: Once again, another year comes and goes, and I am not invited to become a voting member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. I'm beginning to take this personally. They have an introductory cap of 180 people each year, invited only 135 this year, and didn't think to make some room for me. Rude.
ITEM!: The iPhone4 is having some issues. Apparently, holding the phone on each side in a certain place causes the phone's signal to cut out. This is bad, of course, but doesn't stop me from wanting the phone in the worst possible way. Also of interest, Brian is being remarkably stubborn about my getting the new iPhone. I am currently accepting donations for the phone.
ITEM!: I tried the new caramel-filled, break-and-bake, Nestle chocolate ship cookies so you won't have to. Mine cooled significantly before I tasted one, and it was still good, but I think that if it was warm out of the oven, it would be frickin' delicious. Also, they're pretty rich, so one at a time is good, and there are only 12 in a package. :(
ITEM!: Porn sites on the Internets are close to getting their ".xxx" suffix. I believe this to be an incredibly good idea. First of all, it's marketing brilliance in the form of Internet simplicity. What better way to identify a porn site then by a triple-x address? There are already 110,000 reservations. So I'm not the only one who thinks this is smart and savvy.
ITEM!: Chicken McNuggets sold in England have less fat, calories and chemicals than those sold in the U.S. How is this right or fair? And why is there a different recipe, for lack of a better word, for American nuggets versus English nuggets? McDonald’s says the differences are based on the local tastes: In the United States, McNuggets are coated and then cooked, in the United Kingdom, they are cooked and then coated. As a result, the British McNuggets absorb less oil and have less fat.
ITEM!: I really like my new swimsuit. I'm super comfortable in it. I'm loving the way it feels. I do find myself kinda pouty because I've only got the one in the one color. I wonder, could I pull off the orange? Or the white? Or the royal blue? ... Anyone? Opinions?

Love my Jetta, don't love these issues

I wonder if I didn't blog about my car last night because I'm embarrassed. Once again, the Malfunction Indicator Light went bright yesterday morning, and, after the pool play date of course, I spent a harrowing 20 minutes driving the car to the VW dealership. My service manager, Neil, and another manager could hear the problem when I drove into the bay: engine not firing properly. Great. Sydney and I got our rental car (Pontiac G6), picked up some Sonic for lunch, and went home.
This morning, I got the call that one of the hoses had deteriorated, and was replaced, so I could come pick up the car. Here's the best part: according to the invoice, the hose was a part of the intake manifold. The same manifold that was just replaced? Perhaps. I'd know more if Neil could be bothered to get off the phone when I picked up the car. I get the impression that he just doesn't like to answer my questions. Is it a girl thing? I don't know, but it is an irritating thing.
All this is happening only a month after the car's 20,000-mile inspection, which, I thought, was supposed to inspect all these things. If not the manifold specifically, then certainly the hoses. Honestly, what the hell? It blows me away that the car works perfectly awesome for a year, and then suddenly, once it's inspected, all kinds of hell starts to break loose on the vehicle. It's a good thing that I love the car so much, or I'd be getting really, really, really, really frustrated with it.

Happy birthday, Daisy!

Who knew, when we all woke up this morning, on Daisy's second birthday, that we'd be participating in a doggy birthday party, complete with cake, tonight?
Yes, today, Daisy is two years old. I remember when we considered her lucky to get to one. Still, two rolled around pretty uneventfully. (Except she has been chewing on Syd's toys a bit lately.) And this relaxed attitude was working pretty well until Sydney took charge of the birthday celebration. "Where is Daisy's birthday cake?" I was not prepared for this, nor was I ready for her persistence. "Are we getting Daisy a cake now?" "Are we getting Daisy's cake now?"
Without a Three Dog Bakery nearby, I was kind of at a loss about where I would get a doggy birthday cake. Finally, I remembered that the cupcake place we go for our people cupcakes also had some doggy cupcakes. I figured too, that if that fell through, the pet boutique two doors down from the cupcake place would probably have something for us.
The pet boutique ended up being the place to make the purchase, and we were not disappointed. We even had a selection of cakes (well, two cakes to choose from). Sydney chose the carob, which looked like chocolate, with its biscuit cookie trim and "Happy Birthday" written on the top. It was pretty awesome looking.
Once Brian got home and we had settled in after dinner, we cut two slices of Daisy's cake for her and Oliver, put them on plates, sang the birthday song, and then, happily, watched our dogs have their cake and eat it, too.

Happy birthday, dear Gramps

I ate In-N-Out Burger for lunch in honor of my Gramps, who would have been 88 today. (This is a particular sacrifice for me because I don't like In-N-Out. Never have. This fact, along with my distaste for avocados, make people wonder if I really can be considered a California girl.) Anyway, after Gramps' stroke, when my dislike for the restaurant was a giggle for him, whenever we drove by one, he would say, "I love In-N-Out." And then he'd look at me and smile, and say, "But you don't like it." I'd say no, I don't, and he'd laugh out loud. I don't remember how he liked his burger, though I did take him there a couple times. And I imagine he always got a vanilla shake -- because he didn't like chocolate (weird Irishman).
I don't drive by an In-N-Out without playing that conversation in my head, and it makes me smile. I could think of no better homage to the man then to eat a hamburger that I don't really like and buy some french fries that taste ickier than I remember. But make no mistake, there was NO WAY I was going to buy a vanilla shake. I got a Coke instead.

Futbol, futbol, futbol

I think I've written before how indifferent I am to soccer. I didn't enjoy playing it when I was a kid, and watching it on television is even worse. I contend that no sport should be considered a sport if a contest can end in a tie. That's unfair to the spectators. The World Cup, while a worldwide obsession, means very little to me.
Still, I've watched bits and pieces of matches here and there. And because I am, above all, a patriotic type of recreational sports spectator, I am cheering ... loudly ... for the United States team. I've heard from several sources that our national team should not be doing as well as it is in this year's tournament. "We" tied England's team, and tied, with a robbery, the Slovenia team. Tomorrow morning, we compete against the Algerian team. If we win that one, we move into the next portion of our bracket.
I'd love for this to happen. I like it when the U.S. does well in a sport that the rest of the world considers its own, especially since we kick butt in our own national sports (baseball, snowboarding, basketball). I'll not be watching tomorrow, because, like I said, I find watching soccer to be among the most boring activities ever, but I will be cheering for our team in their quest to move on and fight another day. In that, I'll be sporting some soccer duds via the avatar.

Absolutely no pic of the swimsuit

I bought a new swimsuit today.
It dawned on me the other day that Sydney isn't progressing in her swim class too well because she's only swimming for 30 minutes a week ... in class. This, is a problem. My new pledge is to get her in the pool at least three other times during the week. To do this, of course, I had to be comfortable in a swimsuit.
None of the suits in my drawer were cutting it for me, so I decided that the perfect, black one-piece swimsuit was my best bet. we stopped first at Nordstrom, where I actually knew I would find something to make me happy. I bribed my daughter with a visit to The Disney Store if she sat quietly and patiently while I tried on suits. This, plus her desire to "teach Mommy to swim" made her cooperative. My first hurdle, which I tackled quickly, was in asking for the help I would need. Katie was indeed very helpful, and before long, I had two one-piece suits, and several two-piece suits, which I knew I would not like on me but wanted to try on anyway.
I did finally settle on one that makes me feel kinda Elizabeth Taylor sultry and lush, but still holds my tummy in. I felt triumphant to find something that flattered me, and covered a couple of my flaws. (Some flawed parts, like the thighs, can only be covered by swim dresses, which I will not wear.) I'm actually even a little excited to wear the suit tomorrow!
Finally, yay swimming!!

Any reason to post a cupcake...

I am totally exhausted for some reason. Actually, I think it has something to do with the last two nights' bedtime of midnight, but that's just a little something. I was good and productive today: I mastered cupcakes on my farm (FarmVille turns 1, and they gave us crops full of cupcakes to grow!); guilted my husband into taking me to lunch for his Father's Day (Culinary Dropout is a delight); finished a book (Ann Brashares' "adult" novel which shouldn't really be called that); trimmed back the bougainvillea trees in the backyard (no tall sprouts or flower droppings anymore); read my current Vanity Fair (Elizabeth Taylor on the cover); made dinner (pasta!!); and watched True Blood (did you know blood could be used in so many food courses?).
My goodness, there actually is a very good reason I'm tired!! And also, I've blogged!
Cripes!! So much done today!!

Third time is just as charming

There is always something to be said for a Pixar movie. Of the 10 films the studio has released, exactly 10 of them are perfect. That sentiment includes Toy Story 3, the newest film, which we watched this afternoon. I actually kind of like how our afternoon came together: Brian suggested we catch the movie; there was plenty of time to get to the theater; we got a good spot to park; with 15 minutes to spare, the movie theater had excellent seating still available; and it was a film Sydney was excited to see, so she was into it and didn't fidget too much.
Once again, Buzz Lightyear and Woody steal the show, and my love. (The saddest part of this movie? That Auntie Donna can't see the latest adventure of her favorite little cowboy, Woody.) The movie was, of course, incredibly well done. Inside jokes, adult innuendo, nostalgia, and good-hearted fun made the movie as much an entertainment for Brian and I as it was for Sydney. The story was very well done, the animation was top-notch (as usual), and the emotional heft of the film was enough to have me crying at the end. Also, we stayed until the very end of the credits, and I regret to inform you that nothing cool happens once the names stop scrolling.
The best part is that Sydney was a super trooper throughout the whole film, so I don't feel like I missed anything. I know that when we get the DVD in a few months, and I watch it again, I'll probably notice some things, but right now, I'm good. I had a perfectly lovely movie-going experience with my family, and I'm still smiling about it.
If you have the opportunity to check out Toy Story 3, you should. I highly recommend it!!

Hopes for the year, TBD

List of things I'd like to do, and places I'd like to go, this year:
1.) Space shuttle launch ~ I am, in fact, working on this.
2.) Wizarding World of Harry Potter ~ No joke, this place looks frickin' awesome. What a fantastic amusement park. The catch, of course, is that it's in Orlando, Fla. Maybe in January or February next year?
3.) Boston ~ I miss my peeps there, and would love to make a visit sometime soon.

Also, I have a bunch of little things around my house that need to be taken care of. It's stupid stuff really: laundry, luggage, papers, toys, etc. I'm tired of seeing these things laying around. I need my house a bit more clutter-free.

And the Wednesday ITEM! list returns

ITEM!: So here's the deal with the car: a part of the manifold needs to be replaced. The part, of course, is on the East Coast, so it won't arrive at VW until tomorrow. I should get the car back tomorrow, too. Currently, I am cruising around town in a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I had forgotten how big an SUV is to drive around. Granted, the Freelander wasn't that big, but still, once you get out of the habit of being taller on the road, it's weird being big again. But the moral of this story is that, when a warning indicator lights up on your dashboard, it may just mean that something really is wrong with the car.
ITEM!: I watched the first episode of Dexter tonight. I've always heard good things about it, and Katy told me that I'd like it, so I dove in this evening. I watched it, get this, on the Watch Instantly feature, via Wii's wi-fi connection through Netflix. This is a super cool thing, by the way. I think I may have found my new technological boyfriend, you know, until I get my new iPhone 4.
ITEM!: In related news, Apple and AT&T have sold out their iPhone 4 pre-orders. This is disappointing, but not terrible. I know that I want one of these phones, and that I will get one. It just becomes a matter of when I decide to get it. I can wait for more to be available. Because it will be mine, yes, it will be mine.
ITEM!: Watching last night's Deadliest Catch was heartbreaking. It's the time during this season when we begin to watch the eventual loss of Capt. Phil Harris, who died during the taping due to a stroke. Last night, he was in obvious health distress. And the fight with his son, Jake, was so sad, knowing that soon this father would be taken from this son. My heart aches for Jake, who, no doubt, has some guilt going on. Next week, Capt. Phil's stroke is broadcasted. He insisted that the cameras keep rolling during his health crisis, bringing to an end his story on the show. That's inspiring, but still, super sad.

I don't really like him a whole lot anymore

Confession (though some of you have known this for a long time): I used to have the crush of all crushes on Charlie Sheen, the actor. Oh, I had posters, magazine covers and movies starring him all through my room, so whenever I wanted, I could look at him. I was totally excited when someone I knew told me where, exactly, Sheen's house was in Malibu. I drove there a couple times, just to see it. I knew, in my heart, that should Sheen ever choose me to spend his life with, we would be an incredibly happy twosome. And then, I heard about the hookers. The hookers dressed like cheerleaders. This was a particular insult, because there was no way I would ever be a cheerleader. I quickly fell out of love, and decided that Sheen, sadly, was too dirty for me.
Since then, I have watched Sheen's life play out in the tabloids. He's kind of a train wreck for me: I don't want to look, but I kinda have to. Lately, he's been more gross as a person than usual. My disgust grows with every article about him. But today, this article made me giggle.

Cops: Second Sheen car taken, rolled off LA cliff
(AP) LOS ANGELES – For the second time in five months, a Mercedes-Benz owned by Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen was stolen and sent off Mulholland Drive near his Santa Monica Mountains home, authorities said Tuesday.
Firefighters responding to a report of a traffic accident found the silver Mercedes S600 about 100 feet down a brushy ravine around 3 a.m., Fire Department spokesman Eric Scott said.
Nobody was in the car.
The car showed no signs of forced entry, police Officer Bruce Borihanh said. He could not confirm television reports that the keys were in the ignition.
However, the car was running and had its lights on, fire Battalion Chief Peter Benesch said.
Police officers checked the plates of the 2010 vehicle and confirmed it was Sheen's, Officer Norma Eisenman said.
Someone apparently took the luxury car from Sheen's Sherman Oaks driveway, where it was parked Monday afternoon and the actor didn't know it was missing, Eisenman said. Officers impounded the vehicle to fingerprint it, she said.
Sheen publicist Stan Rosenfield did not immediately return a phone message seeking comment.
The car was found in the same area off Mulholland Drive where another Mercedes owned by Sheen was found on Feb. 5. That black, four-door car apparently was stolen from Sheen's garage in a gated community and pushed or driven over the cliff, where it came to rest upside down, police said. Sheen had left the keys inside.
A Bentley was later found off the same road nearby, and police said three other cars reportedly were broken into in the same area.
No arrests have been made.

*sigh* ... Of course. ... *sigh*

Okay, I'm exhausted; I have a ton of laundry to do; I can't think of a single thing to do with Nicole, Ella and Aidan tomorrow; and, to top it off, my "Malfunction Indicator Light" must really mean something, because my car died tonight in front of the grocery store. Well, it didn't really die, but after the car turned on and the engine started, after about five seconds, the battery light on the dash would flash and the car would turn off by itself. This, is a problem. It took about six starts for the car to stay on long enough for me to put it into gear and start the car moving. And I swear, I didn't let the car come to a complete stop the entire way home. The basic reaction is, of course, why the hell is this light still on and I haven't called the VW people? No idea. But I did call my good friend, Neil (err, his voice mail, since it was 7 p.m.), and let him know that I'd be bringing the car in about 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning, and let the good VW peeps take a look at the vehicle.
For the first time though, I'll need a rental car. I've got so much other stuff going on tomorrow, and I need a car. Specifically, a car that starts, goes and stops with no muss or fuss.

A new A-Team!

I have always been a big fan of The A-Team. It's one of those '80s-kid things, but a cliche that I cling to in my life. Hannibal, Face, Murdock and B.A. will always, always, always be super awesome in my mind. (Full disclosure: my ring tone on Mom's phone is the show's theme song.) Love, love, love the show. I went into mourning when George Peppard died. I developed a bit of a crush on Dwight Schultz and Dirk Benedict. Mr. T is, well, Mr. T.
When I heard that a movie was going to be made based on the television show, I got excited and happy. I figured that the movie would be able to roll with the action and "violence" better. I love the idea of Liam Neeson as Hannibal, and Bradley Cooper as Face. All the previews look fantastic in a popcorn summer movie way. I can not wait to see this movie.
I'm a little disappointed that Mr. T was quoted as saying he didn't really like the movie. I expected his comments to mirror Benedict's more, as he complained about how small his cameo was in the film. But the complaints that Mr. T had were the issues I had with the TV show: cartoon violence in which no one was ever hurt or died (herein lies my approval of violence in my entertainment), and a distinct lack of romantic entanglements and sexy issues.
The A-Team opened today, and sadly, I won't be able to catch it this weekend. It is though, imperative that I see it in an actual movie theater. This is my new priority (after Toy Story 3 next weekend). Yay!!

Oil, oil and more oil. Damn.

I just saw an ad for Dr. Pepper. I don't like Dr. Pepper.
I also saw an ad for BP. I don't like BP, either. The ad is designed to bolster the reputation of the company. What's interesting is that these public relations ads are not running in the Gulf states, where the people are most affected by the oil spill. Does BP really, really think that we, as Americans, are that shallow? That, since we (in, say, Arizona, for an example) who are not actually in the Gulf states, would be swayed by an ad into thinking that BP is actually not that bad?
That the company is doing its best for the spill can certainly be debated. (Special mention goes to the BP CEO, who wants to "get my life back," because he's been in the Gulf for so long, theoretically taking care of this.) My concern is over the company's need to "capture" the oil, more than stop the flow entirely. I feel like their priority is to stop losing the oil, more than stopping it entirely. I can't help but think that they're all, "At least it's not happening in our backyard. Let's figure out how to fix this without losing the well itself." Screw the well, BP. Stop the oil.
I'm beyond pissy about this. I hate seeing the oil covering the water, the beaches and the wildlife. I hate that this has happened. I hate finding out that BP allegedly forced cost- and time-cutting measures, and that those may be behind the downfall of the Deepwater Horizon rig. My god, why is oil and money so much more important than our natural resources and the planet's health? I can't imagine that there weren't little fixes that would have cost pennies or dollars at the time, that couldn't have prevented this tragedy from happening. Damn the corporate man and their cost-cutting ideas. Suits not listening to the guys on the rigs is what I think went wrong here.
I just feel so angry, and helpless. I HATE seeing those pictures of the turtles, pelicans and other animals covered in oil. It's infuriating!

Capricorns rock

So, I am officially back on the job hunt (though not today; why rush into anything). As if to encourage me just that little bit more, the world of astrology talked to me this morning. Here's today's horoscope: You've got a lot to think about right now! An offer to upgrade to a larger home might be out of your immediate financial capability, but opportunities like this allow you to grow. That is even more true for work challenges that you're sure you're not ready for yet. Your energy is just right, though, so release those doubts. Think things through, ask for advice, and you should be pleasantly surprised.
Well, that's a good thing, right there. I guess I need to think through checking for jobs, ask for advice on whether they're worth my time or effort, and be pleasantly surprised if anyone is hiring. Tomorrow, I begin trolling the job web sites again.

Finding and getting a good job is like a daffodil surviving a frosty winter. Unlikely.
BUT, we try our butts off anyway!!

Lovin' the new iPhone!

Steve Jobs, the god of all things Apple, unveiled the new iPhone 4 in his keynote address at Apple's World Wide Developers Conference in San Francisco this morning. And with that, I fell in love once again, and now begin my campaign for a new phone. What's so exciting? I (and the Tech guy from Yahoo!, whose text I copied and pasted here) WILL TELL YOU!!
1.) Netflix, at long last, is coming to the iPhone. It looks a lot like the iPad application, letting you stream video and manage your queue on your iPhone.
2.) Zynga's Farmville comes to the iPhone. Now 70 million players can plant and harvest no matter where they are. YAY!!
3.) The new phone has the thinner, squared-off design, redesigned buttons, a front-facing camera, a flash on the rear camera, a secondary microphone for noise cancellation, and improved antennas integrated right into the design. 26% thinner than the iPhone 3GS.
4.) With 326 pixels per inch, the phone has a better display than the human eye can even process (300 ppi, per Jobs). It's called a "retina display."
5.) As rumored, 960 x 640 pixels of resolution on the 3.5-inch display. That's unheard of on a cell phone and actually approaches what most smaller laptops have. 78% of the pixels that the iPad has.
6.) iPhone is now powered by Apple's A4 chip. Battery is bigger, and Jobs promises 40% more talk time than before. 32GB of storage standard. And support for 7.2Mbps networks.
7.) Camera is upgraded to 5 megapixels, with 5x digital zoom and a flash. Also records video in HD resolution (720p at 30 fps).
8.) iPhone OS gets a new name: iOS. iOS 4 adds 100 new features to the phone, including the long-awaited multitasking. Other new features included a unified inbox, threaded email, and folders that let you group apps together -- looks perfect for those of us with overstuffed screens.
9.) iBooks for the iPhone 4. It's an indicator of how seriously Apple is targeting books, including a dedicated iBooks store on the phone. Amazon and its Kindle are surely quaking in their boots.
10.) Pricing: $299 for 32GB, $199 for 16GB, with two-year contract. Black or white. Same as 3GS. Existing iPhone owners can upgrade up to six months early. On sale June 24.

Um. Did you see that? If I can upgrade up to six months early, that means that ON JUNE 24, I will be able to upgrade my current iPhone to the new iPhone!! SWEET!!

Sunday, lazy Sunday

As a rule, Sundays are kind of a brain-dead day for me. I don't like to do a whole lot, unless it's something cool. I did get to have lunch with Roberta today (no children), and that was certainly a good thing. But once I got home, I pretty much parked my ass on the sofa.
My goal for the day: finish The Lost City of Z. I hate feeling obligated to finish a book, and this one was one of those. It, honestly, didn't roll like a good book, though any nonfiction story that isn't a biography rarely does. It was a painful read for me, and I'm glad to be done with it.
Other than that, I started laundry I didn't finish; I snacked on food that I should not have gotten near; I left my computer sitting out all afternoon instead of plugging it in, so my blogging here is in the shadow of the red battery light; and I still got tired from my day. How does that happen?

And the peacock says, "I don't get it"

Brian's dad e-mailed these puns to me, and, while they may not be too laugh-out-loud funny, they certainly are clever. And, as everyone's day can always be brightened by some clever puns, I thought I'd go ahead and share these with you.
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, ...and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, the supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tate's is lost."
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo, who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."

Can you say "stoopid" idea?

No kidding, this kind of thing is the bane of my existence, gives me a headache, and just puts me in a snit. I want to flip out, and make all kinds of pronouncements about why it's important to love your language and treat it with respect, but for people like this, and their followers (because I can only assume that they have some kind of illiterate following), my arguments would hold no credibility. I'm stunned into silence, actually, as I sit here.

In DC, even the Spelling Bee draws protesters
(AP) WASHINGTON – The nation's capital always draws its share of protesters, picketing for causes ranging from health care reform to immigration policy.
But spelling bee protesters? They're out here, too.
Four peaceful protesters, some dressed in full-length black and yellow bee costumes, represented the American Literacy Council and the London-based Spelling Society and stood outside the Grand Hyatt on Thursday, where the Scripps National Spelling Bee is being held.
Their message was short: Simplify the way we spell words.
Roberta Mahoney, 81, a former Fairfax County, Va. elementary school principal, said the current language obstructs 40 percent of the population from learning how to read, write and spell.
"Our alphabet has 425-plus ways of putting words together in illogical ways," Mahoney said. The protesting cohort distributed pins to willing passers-by with their logo, "Enuf is enuf. Enough is too much."
According to literature distributed by the group, it makes more sense for "fruit" to be spelled as "froot," "slow" should be "slo," and "heifer" — a word spelled correctly during the first oral round of the bee Thursday by Texas competitor Ramesh Ghanta — should be "hefer."
Meanwhile, inside the hotel's Independence Ballroom, 273 spellers celebrated the complexity of the language in all its glory, correctly spelling words like zaibatsu, vibrissae and biauriculate.
While the protesters could make headway with cell phone texters who routinely swap "u" for "you" and "gr8" for "great," their message may be a harder sell for the Scripps crowd. Mahoney had trouble gaining traction with at least one bee attendee.
New Mexico resident Matthew Evans, 15, a former speller whose sister is participating in the bee this year, reasoned with her that if English spellings were changed, spelling bees would cease to exist.
"If a dictionary lists 'enough' as 'enuf,' the spelling bee goes by the dictionary, therefore all the spelling words are easier to spell, so the spelling bee is gone," Evans said.
"Well," Mahoney replied, "they could pick their own dictionary."

Could there be anything more ridiculous than seeing "fruit" spelled "froot" when not on a cereal box? Or "enuf"? My god! These examples, as well as the rest of this ridiculous movement's "dictionary," would (woud) be enough (enuf) to give (giv) me a heart (hart) attack (atak)!!
ACK!!! THIS FRIGHTENS ME!!

p.s. My spell check just went ape shit with this post.

Someone get RKO on the phone about this

One of my favorite movies ever is called Sinbad the Sailor (1947). It stars Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., as Sinbad, and Maureen O'Hara, as Shireen. Anthony Quinn is in it, too. It is incredibly campy, and really fantastic. I have it on VHS (for which there is nothing to play it on). For reasons beyond my understanding, there is no urgency to have the movie released on DVD. When that day arrives, I shall be a very happy girl. Until then, this month's avatar is an homage to Sinbad the Sailor.

I wish I could list all the randomly bizarre things that happened to me today. Some were actually weird occurrences, some were just my head messing with me, and some were, well, random. 1.) I got teary-eyed watching Charlotte's Web at the movies with Sydney this morning. 2.) I am raising my daughter to be almost exactly like me: she refused to share her popcorn. 3.) I have no idea where Sydney's left-over macaroni and cheese from lunch is, and oh well, I don't really care. It may still be in the car. 4.) It got so hot in the car this afternoon that the adhesive holding my rearview mirror to my windshield melted, and the mirror fell to the dashboard. This is not a quick fix. 5.) I burned my fingers picking up a really, really hot rearview mirror off my dashboard. 6.) If the stronger nursery-approved insecticide I bought today doesn't kill these frickin' fungus gnats, I'm going to have to toss all my houseplants. This will make me cry. And then I may go with Stephanie's philosophy of only having one plant in the house. 7.) I used the American Express complimentary credit score check online, and am pleased to say that, for a non-working chick with a crazy AmEx bill, I have a smokingly good score. 8.) Oliver continues to poop on the decor rock surrounding the grassy knoll, rather then on the grass itself. This is irritating me. 9.) When I slipped my flip flops back on under the dinner table tonight, it took me a good 30 minutes of sitting there before I realized that the shoes felt really weird because they were on the wrong feet. 10.) When I turned on the car after dinner, the "Malfunction Indicator Lamp" light lit up on the dash. I said, "What is that?" Katy said, "It's the car telling you that the rearview mirror is missing." I said, "No way! Really?" Really, no. I love that I fell for this joke. The light though means what it is; it indicates that something is malfunctioning. Is there a vaguer warning ever? At this point, my day is ridiculously laughable. 11.) The stoplight outside the Starbucks never, ever, ever turned green. We sat there for four entire light cycles, and our left-turn green never showed. I made a wild right turn, flipped a bitch and waited for the red lights that, ironically for my day, never came up behind me. 12.) I shared with my Facebook family the fact that, where I live, it's hot enough to melt the mirror adhesive off a windshield. From that, I got a bunch of reports on everyone else's weather, which I didn't really care about, because their weather was nicer and cooler than mine, and they were whining about it.

Do hummingbirds eat fungus gnats?

If you can believe it, those goddamn bugs were flying around a couple of my plants again today. I had half a mind to toss the plant out entirely, but it's a really nice plant, so instead, I called my mommy. After a clever Google search, the high and mighty Internet came down with the answer to my problem: fungus gnats. Um, gross.
What's interesting though, is all the random household supplies that go into the basic fungus gnat killer. Beyond the simple task of putting a half-inch of sand on top of the potting soil in the planter (to be done tomorrow), one should spray the plant with the killer. FUNGUS GNAT KILLER RECIPE: Mix together one cup of warm water, 1/3 cup of cooking oil, and 1 tsp of baking soda. Put this in a spray bottle; douse the plant; and the bugs will die. However, you may have to be persistent, persistent, persistent.
So, tonight, my plant is still outside, having been doused twice with The Killing Solution. In the morning, I'll check for the little bugs again. If I see some, sadly, the plant will have to go. If not, every plant will get a Killing Solution shower tomorrow afternoon.
Also, on the agenda for tomorrow, buying some sand.

p.s. I do not think hummingbirds eat fungus gnats. Though it would be totally cool to have a bunch of hummingbirds living in the house for a while.