DWTS returns on 9/21/09

I'm sure you all have been wondering exactly why it's been so long since you've heard anything about Dancing with the Stars, especially since the Season 9 cast was announced a couple weeks ago. Reason #1: I just haven't had the time to write what I knew from the outset would be a lengthy post. Reason #2: I needed to trim down my fingernails to type what I knew would be a lengthy post, and I was taking my time about doing that. Reason #3: I hadn't come across an evening or afternoon when it just felt like "the right time" to roll back into my DWTS obsession. Lucky you; tonight's the night!!
In Season 9, which begins on Sept. 21 with a three-night premiere, there will be 16 contestants, rather than the normal amount of 13. With no further ado, the contestants, and my opinions on them.
Tom DeLay, Former House Majority Leader ~ This is the one that made me go "Hmmm," but I have a feeling that he'll be our surprise contender. He'll leave in the middle, but not before impressing a lot of people.
Donny Osmond, singer, purple socks wearer ~ Whoever didn't see this coming a mile away is hereby revoked of their DWTS coolness card. Once Marie made a decent showing, you just had to know that Donny would be there soon.
Macy Gray, singer ~ I really loved her first CD, but lost contact with her afterwards. Let's see what she's been up to.
Kelly Osbourne, reality star ~ And here's our first bit of crazy. I think she's going to be into it, but also a bit of a prima donna.
Debi Mazar, actress ~ Mazar has always been kinda funky in my head, so I really hope that she does well.
Mya, singer ~ Mya has the background in dance to do really well in this competition. I dig her because of her more famous work in the awesomely classic "Lady Marmalade" cover from Moulin Rouge, with Pink, Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera.
Melissa Joan Hart, actress ~ I find her a nit milquetoast. Dear Ms. Hart, Please make me care. Thank you.
Michael Irvin, NFL player ~ Ah yes, the token football player. I hope he enjoys this more than the last NFL player whom I can't even remember, but do recall hated all the feminine stuff.
Ashley Hamilton, son of George and ex-husband of Shannen Doherty ~ I don't care.
Aaron Carter, singer ~ All I know of this guy is that he sparked that huge feud between Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff a couple years ago. I feel shame about knowing this.
Kathy Ireland, ex-model ~ Another wild card who may impress us all? Perhaps.
Natalie Coughlin, ex-Olympic swimmer and medal winner ~ Is Coughlin going to extend the Olympic winners' streak? I'm thinking no, but we'll see how the people vote.
Louie Vito, pro snowboarder ~ I have no idea who this guy is. Let's hope he's a better presence than last season's Steve-O.
Chuck Liddell, ex-UFC fighter ~ Ugh, and I don't care.
Mark Dacascos, actor and martial artist better known as the Chairman on Iron Chef America ~ I love Iron Chef America, so I'll be rooting for him.
Joanna Krupa, swimsuit model ~ And this season's Holly Madison. Krupa was on another ABC reality show. It's nice to know that ABC's nepotism is still alive and well this season.
I can't say that there is anyone on this season's roster that I'm geeked about seeing on the show. There is certainly no Belinda Carlisle level coolness going on here. It's kind of nice though, going in with a clean slate. I am not predisposed to love any one of these people, so really, any one of them could win my heart!