Take me, not her!

I think that I should replace one of the damaged celebrities on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Both Jewel and Nancy O'Dell have had to drop out of the series due to fractured tibias and knee cartilage tears, respectively. The injuries are said to be results of a too vigorous training regimen. The official news is that the show executives won't announce the stars' replacements until Monday night, but I have already heard that one of the Playboy bunny girls from that ridiculous show, Girls Next Door, is replacing Jewel. Honestly, if something happens to Belinda Carlisle, I'll have no reason to watch the show this season.
Jewel's husband, Ty Murray, is still competing, though the main plotline between them being on the show was that they would be the first husband-wife pair to compete against each other.
Among DWTS celebs injured in prior seasons: Olympic volleyball player Misty May-Treanor (torn Achilles tendon); comic Jeffrey Ross (eye injury); actress Susan Lucci (fractured foot); and actor Cristián de la Fuente (torn arm tendon).
Perhaps the problem is that they are all celebrities. (Run with me on this.) They need a couple no-name fans in there to bolster the non-injury quotient. You see? They need me there.