"Ick": 1; emotional stability: 0

I gotta tell you, I had a pretty bad day today. Not bad as in bad stuff happening, because on the whole, it was an okay day like that. No, I had a rough one emotionally. It's weird how I can be going along, happy and stable as all, and then suddenly, I just drag down. It's not ever a specific thing, or any real set of circumstances that I can point to, it's just an overall feeling of "ick."
The reality of my head and heart right now is that I'm unhappy. I don't like my apartment anymore; I don't like being a stay-at-home mom anymore; I don't like being sad because Howie's gone (that, I'm afraid, will be around for a while. There's nothing I can do about it.); I don't like this odd feeling of waste; and I don't like being so far away from my mom and friends.
What to do. Well, first off, I'm sending out my resume tonight and tomorrow. This odd wastefulness feeling is reminiscent of my six-month job hiatus when we moved to Boston, so I know the solution there. Job hunter, heal thyself. As for the apartment issue, I played around with the air conditioner vents in part 2 of the apartment again, so I'm hoping that'll make me feel better. But, if that falls through, B and I found a new complex around the corner that we really like. Huh. Howie's gone. That just sucks. As for being far from Mom and friends, well, that's a matter of time, too. Who knows when we'll make it out to Cali.
As it is, just going through my issues of the day is making me feel better about them.

Positive things about today: I submitted a request for more information from a nanny company in regards to their babysitting services; we bought chocolate; Sydney was cooperative at lunch; the Red Sox are beating the Yankees; and I think the Pottery Barn coffee tables will work. So really, the whole day wasn't a complete wash.