How to wear footless tights

I know that I've commented on the return of leggings (or, for those new to this trend, "footless tights") before, but I saw something at Nordstrom yesterday that just made me shudder. Mom and I stopped to buy some socks, but right there, on the counter, was a pile of helpful little leaflets titled, "How to wear footless tights, Fashion 2006." The leaflet was produced by Hue Legwear (I must be sure to attribute it properly), and is cute and colorful enough to tempt even me to read through it. Of course, I was so appalled by the mere mention of the tights, and how to make them cool, that I had to reproduce the eight ridiculous suggestions here on my blog, for you.
1. Make the transition into fall a breeze by layering a pair of HUE ankle-length footless tights under your favorite flirty dress.
2. For a downtown look, pair HUE footless capris with slouch boots, a short skirt and cropped blazer.
3. Make a savvy fashion statement with HUE footless tights and ankle boots under one of fallÂ’s chic trapeze-shaped dresses.
4. Flash back to the rockstar 80s with HUE black lace footless tights, a punk tee and funky mini. (I don't like the "flash back" reference here, but I guess I should reconcile myself with the fact that the 80s are two decades ago.)
5. For a modern layered look, belt a jersey tunic over a bright pair of HUE footless tights then slip on a pair of ballerina flats.
6. As the weather turns cool, layer on HUE chunky knit legwarmers over footless tights or opt for HUE cozy footless sweater tights. (They're bringing back legwarmers, too!?! What is this world coming to??)
7. For a sleek and narrow look, pair HUE ankle-length footless tights under a tailored military jacket.
8. Play up fallÂ’s menswear trend by wearing HUE pinstripe footless tights under your favorite Little Black Dress. (Because this is the only way to ruin the beauty and simplicity of the little black dress.)
So there you go, my friends. Run out and pick up some footless tights to wear to work, out on the town or just kicking around the city. I'll tell you that I saw four women and a few girls sporting the tights in the mall yesterday, and it hurt my heart.