Thursday, August 4
Sun's out, penis out ... wth?
Bloom apparently decided that board shorts were too confining for the day, and that paddle boarding was the ideal sport to engage in naked, but with a hat on. So he stripped down, kneeled on the board, and paddled Katy around the water wherever they were. There also were photos of him wandering around in the foresty places near the beach.
Anyway, I managed to bring this up over dinner tonight, and Brian managed to speak the phrase "dick pic," and I got to explain to my mom what that was because she'd never heard the phrase before. Oh, don't think for a second that I would explain the words later and not show her the pics. They were very easy to find. I have posted the blurred versions here for your reference. The internet is a wondrous place, my friends, where we can all learn how big Legolas's penis is.
I also had to explain that this is what happens, on a zoomed-in scale, when a woman is on some dating apps, and guys think that texting dick pics is the way to a woman's "heart." I have a friend who had a folder on her phone full of all the unsolicited dick pics she received while she was "dating" online. It's gross, for certain, that a man would think that sending an image of his penis would be a motivator to date him ... but that's a conversation for another time. Tonight, I got to show my mom Orlando Bloom's penis on Twitter.
Posted by Kimmie G at 11:00 PM