Wednesday, February 8

Just floating around, unsupervised

I got all indignant about Facebook today in defense of my friend, Kerry.
Kerry is a great mom of three boys. She and her husband are involved, happy parents, and still somehow, manage to keep their sanity and go out on dates and all that. I'm crazy with one kid, and she seems to be saner than me with her three. Anyway, today, Kerry posted on Facebook about a seemingly last-minute trip to Las Vegas with her husband. She posted her excitement, and was off and running. The first comment on her post? "Where are your kids?" Another three comments down, "Who do you have watching your boys?"
Here's my thing: How dare these people, even in jest, question that Kerry wouldn't have provided for her kids while she left for a weekend away with their father? Just them asking the question, in that way, on Facebook, put a public light on a rude question, as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure they were somewhat kidding, but I can't help but hear a bit more judgment in their question than anything: "How can you call yourself a mother and then LEAVE your children alone in this world while you fancy-dancy your way around Sin City?!?!"
I texted Kerry and told her that the next time it comes up, she should say that she's left the children home alone in a locked room with a big box of graham crackers and a puppy pad to pee on.
In my head, it sounded very much like these people felt they needed to REMIND Kerry and Bob that they had kids. To REMIND them that they have familial responsibilities. It was not, and is not, their business what arrangements Kerry and Bob made for the boys. They, I would think, would assume that Kerry and Bob had provided well for the boys' care over the next couple days. To ask is to imply that the person asking thought more about the kids' well-being than the parents.
I am positive that I took the comments too seriously, and that they were written in jest, but really, you people on Kerry's Facebook feed. Get over yourselves. What we have here is a couple looking at a weekend away, and they're excited about it. Why give even the slightest implication that you think that they should be feeling guilty about it?

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