Joanna has officially kicked off the warmer season by circulating the "Open-Toed Shoe Pledge." I've signed on for another year. I post it for your enjoyment, and in hoping that you too will take the pledge.
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow these RULES when I wear sandals and other open-toed shoes:
- I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. The sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
- I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
- I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
- I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
- I won't wear pantyhose -- even if my misinformed girlfriend/coworker/mother/sister tells me that the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
- If a shoe strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get the shoe fixed or toss the pair.
- I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
- I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99, even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of foot sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
- I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
- I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as someone's fingers and that no sandal makes creepy feet look good.
- I will promise that if I wear flip flops I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking, and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
- I will promise to go my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure.
- I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear ... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.