Thursday, September 29

Big, slow and lumbering, like a grand tortoise

Today, I was told that my house was dirty.
Today, I was told that I'm "big," and "slow."
The first nugget was offered as a reason why we've been having some in-house bug issues lately. Not the fact that all people spray to keep bugs out of their houses all the time and my house hasn't been sprayed in more than two years. And not that the winter is coming, or whatever. No, the bugs are because my house is "dirty." So maybe I should spend more time taking care of that, was the suggestion. There was an offer of 'help," but who knows what that means. Honestly, if it's not an offer to pay for a cleaning crew, I'm not interested in your help or opinion.
The second bit of love came from the fruit of my own loins, my own loving daughter, who said it to me as an explanation why I wasn't able to run through the grocery store as quickly as her. "Mom, you need to go on the trail again, because you're too slow. You're big, and you move too slow. That's why you're not as fast as me," said my angel. Thanks for that, kiddo.
I feel like I've hit my limit on honesty for my own good today, you know what I mean? If anyone else has any nifty tidbits for me, just take a number and wait until tomorrow.

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