The Summer Olympics begin Friday, or at least the major coverage of them does, as that's the night of the Opening Ceremonies. After that day, I will be Olympics tied and proud of it, though I'll avoid almost all spoilers as best I can. I will hope beyond hope that Facebook and Instagram will be decent to me; though I have no such wish with Twitter. Twitter is a deep crevasse of hopelessness, rage and anonymity, so I don't believe for a second that it will be decent ... ever.
In light of the Olympics, and my aspirations for the Games, I chose this avatar. Because I believe that if I could win gold in any sport, it would be Olympic Spa competition. I believe that I would enjoy a massage, scrub and facial much more than anyone else, thereby, obviously, earning me a gold medal in congeniality of some kind. I would be on time and in my robe for any spa service, garnering me high points for promptness. I would sit in the sauna and steam room to prepare for my contests, just like any other athlete. And then I would take on the awesome responsibility of subjecting myself to spa conditions, thereby proving my endurance.
I'm telling you, this could be a thing. Cue the national anthem.