Monday, October 6

Ugly words don't need to be

You never realize what an ugly word "wart" is until a heartbeat you love is growing them all over.
Oliver is, as you know, an elderly little dude at this point. At 14 years old, he's been growing these little skin bumps for the last couple years or so. The vet referred to them as warts a visit ago, and while I accepted that, I was grossed out a little tiny bit. I've been keeping an eye on them, but when his hair is longer, it's hard to see everything everywhere.
Ollie got a haircut a couple days ago, and because of the warts, the groomer requested more time with him so he could be careful around them. And because of the short hair, I was able to do a full-body inventory on them. And my goodness, I found the biggest one on his knee ... on his knee. How random is that? But because of that extra large wart, Brian and I ended up having an extended conversation about the warts; beyond our usual, "hey look, he's got another one."
In particular, we discussed the ickiness of the word "wart." Brian was the motivator in this one, with his comment that he just doesn't like the word, and we should call them something else. So what does a mom of the Internet age do when faced with a word problem? Well, go to, of course. There is a surprising list of synonyms for "wart," and through the exercise of following one down the thesaurus rabbit hole, and then another, and spending too much time on it, we round-abouted to Beauty Mark.
So, in the same spirit in which we renamed Sydney's pacifier "Ted," we have dubbed Oliver's warts "Beauty Marks." So that's what they are now. And we like it much better.
Our literal and correct daughter doesn't care though, and will call them warts anyway, because she's decided Brian and I are wrong, and because she's a punk.

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