Wednesday, September 29

Northern Lights not in Arizona

I enjoy it when I get to stay put, but my scenery changes. Tomorrow morning, Brian is going to Boston for the weekend, and hours after his departure, Mom arrives for the weekend. This makes me happy because it gets Brian out of the house and someplace he enjoys vacationing, and it gets Mom vacationing and out of her house, too. I get to stay home, and still spend a lovely weekend with my mommy. Brian's bag is packed -- mostly -- for a cool and breezy couple days in Massachusetts. Mom's bag is packed for a hot-as-hell and "dry" couple days in Arizona. I don't have to pack at all. See how well this works to my advantage? Yay weekend!!

Tuesday, September 28

No more drama makes me happy

So, I've figured it out: I have no patience for dramatic television this season. I have tried, over these last two weeks, to be involved in all the same shows I loved last season.
But when it comes to dramas, I'm just not feeling it. Give me Glee, Hawaii 5-0, Castle, Nikita, Chuck and The Vampire Diaries, and I'm there. But when it comes to the dramas, Gossip Girl, Life Unexpected, Parenthood, I can't bring myself to be excited to sit and watch them.
Like right now, I've watched all of tonight's television that I will before going to bed: Glee and No Ordinary Family. I'm incredibly fine with that. And Parenthood and Life Unexpected sit on the DVR List.
But I will say that tonight's Britney Spears episode of Glee was frickin' awesome. I can't wait to watch it again tomorrow morning. And maybe sing along.

Sunday, September 26

Just read it

You know how sometimes you're all, "Hey. I'm going to read one of those classic novels I'm always hearing about." Then, you think, "But, my goodness, they're all so long and full of run-on sentences, and crazy flowery text. How will I ever get into it enough to enjoy it?" Then, I said, "Goodness, Kimberly. You need another book to read. Grab one of your unread classics and be done with it."
I showed Sydney the books I have yet to read, and she made the selection based entirely on the color of the cover: blue. And so, I am reading The Count of Monte Cristo. I'm about 300 pages into the 600-plus book, and am pleased to say that I'm pretty into it. It took me a while to catch on to something that I should have recognized and remembered earlier (I hadn't realized that Albert in Rome was the same Albert that was Mercedes' son until they met in Paris. Duh), but other than that, I'll say that I'm enjoying the book more than I thought I would.
Of the literary classics in my house, I started Treasure Island a few years ago, only to put it back on the bookshelf after 75 pages because the text was hurting my head. I've gotten only pages into Catheter in the Rye (SEE MOM! I FIXED IT!!) before finding it too annoying for words. Only Pride and Prejudice sits untouched in my classics to-be-read pile (perhaps next week?). There are so many others I'd like to read, but these first must be taken to task and finished.
There's something to be said for digging into the classics though. They're all free through iBooks on the iPad and iPhone.

Friday, September 24

Friday's ITEM! list

ITEM!: I just sent off a couple more resumes to a couple random places. One, a video game manufacturer looking for a content writer. Two, a couple art publications looking for an assistant editor. Let's see if we get any bites from those.
ITEM!: Someone at Sydney's school must have referred to her friend, Cameron, as her "boyfriend" on Monday. Because now, it's become a common phrase when she's talking about Cameron. Brian thinks it's funny, and asks her all kinds of questions about her "boyfriend." Me, I am not amused. I had hoped that we would at least get to kindergarten before we had to dive into the social complications of boyfriends and girlfriends. I understand that, as far as Sydney is concerned, Cameron is just a boy who's a friend, but the cuteness factor of the phrasing is lost on me. I sound like an overprotective, crazy mom, but it's my intention to keep Sydney's life as uncomplicated as possible, and other kids hearing Cameron is her "boyfriend" open her up to more social situations than I'm comfortable with her having to handle. I presume it was a teacher who said the word in passing, because I haven't ever said it to or about her and Cameron's friendship, and I doubt the other kids are that sophisticated. I'm disappointed actually, that already she's thrown into a world where a boy who's a friend must be a boyfriend. I know I'm overreacting to this, but it's bugging me.
ITEM!: OMG, get Lindsay Lohan in jail and throw away the key! Who does this girl think she is that she can just go about her business with no respect for the law or the trouble she's in? I'm over her, and I'm bored with coverage of her on TV and the Internets.
ITEM!: I can't begin to tell you how excited I am for the Britney Spears episode of Glee next Tuesday night! I'm obsessing over the previews and teases on Facebook, and I can't stop thinking about it! I know I'll love it, and I can't wait to watch it over and over and over.

Thursday, September 23

That looks kinda autumnal, right?

One of my favorite personal neuroses is my need to have an appropriate seasonal bag. As today is the first day of autumn, the white canvas and pink leather bag just doesn't cut it. We need something a bit more ... autumnal. So, into the handbag abyss I dove. I came out with my very perfect, if ruffled and somewhat dirty, red Kate Spade bag. The bottom is dirty because, of course, this one was purchased before the company was more helpful and put little brass feet on the bag. The side though, that's my concern. It's got a good-sized dark smudge riding about six inches diagonal and three inches wide going across the front side. This smudge is in danger of bugging me in a very big way. So ... dry cleaners? Dryel? Random fabric cleanser? (No way, by the way, with the fabric cleanser.) I'm actually sitting here, looking at this ridiculous smudge. It's a little darker on the bottom left and straight up on the right. It may be oily. It might smell weird. It might spread.
I think it's laughing at me.

Wednesday, September 22

Really? Fireworks on a Wednesday?

What a weird Wednesday. Nothing bad happened. On the contrary: Brian stayed home today so we were able to have a kid-free breakfast; he surprised Sydney by being there to pick her up from school; we had ice cream for lunch; we chilled all afternoon; and finally, we sat outside and had dinner together. It's weird because I sit here tonight with an internal clock that is screaming to me that it is instead Sunday night.
I know that's not the case, since all the Wednesday stuff happened today and none of the Sunday stuff. I know that it is indeed Wednesday because I watched all the Wednesday television. (Undercovers, which may be to cute for its own good, and Modern Family and Cougar Town, neither of which I have ever just sat and watched. Both were funny!) Also, Oliver and Daisy went to the groomers. I know that it's Wednesday because there are still two days of the week left. Also, The Vampire Diaries is on tomorrow night. (By the way, did you all see Glee last night? It was phenomenal! And I am incredibly, crazy excited for next week's Britney episode! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!!)
That internal clock though, keeps trying to convince my head that it's Sunday. I resist. But the clock is cunning. Still, I know the deal. Perhaps it's time to go to bed. And sleep until THURSDAY.

Tuesday, September 21

A drowning on DWTS -- no lifeguard

I'm officially not watching Dancing with the Stars. I missed last night because the sound was off on my recording of the show, and all the voices and music sounded echo-ish and like they were all at the other end of a very long tunnel. I couldn't handle the issues, even for a couple minutes, so thought that I would just hop on tonight's first results show. Then, well, Glee happened, and then Parenthood. And then I saw a headline on an entertainment site that said that David Hasselhoff was the first star to be cut from the show. This, I believe, is inexcusable. I realize that the Hoff is pretty much a punchline lately, but really, he should not have been the first cut this evening. And this I say with full knowledge that I missed both episodes. But really.
So, I think I'm going to not watch DWTS this season. And that's not entirely just because of the untimely exit of Hasselhoff. I seem to have no interest in what's happening on the show at all. That's weird.

Monday, September 20

Monday night delight

How is that I'm still so tired tonight after taking a two-hour nap this afternoon? Honestly, I just yawned, and my eyelids are so heavy. What the hell? Usually, when I've been so inconvenienced by a nap during the day, I am bright-eyed and bushy-tailed into the night hours. But not tonight. Obviously, I need the sleep. So, let's bullet point the day, shall we?
* Still no word on the job, either good or bad. I'm actually still hopeful, but being realistic, I'll be getting back to the want ads tomorrow.
* I'm close, super close, to removing Gossip Girl from my Monday night viewing schedule. It's telling, don't you think, when I can watch the entire hour-long show in 20 minutes because so many of the plots are irritating to me that I skip them.
* We removed Sydney's swing from the backyard patio cover this morning. She's too big for it, and today, it had to go. "Sadly, this is one of the bad things about becoming a big girl. Sometimes, we get too big to play with some of our toys."
* I made the appointment for a new starburst in my new windshield to be repaired. No kidding. I've had the new windshield for less than a week, in fact, it had only been two days, when I took a rock in the window on our way to the lake on Saturday. I'm pissy beyond words about it, but more than that, it needs to be fixed.
* I let Sydney pick my next book to read, and she made her selection based entirely on the cover's color: blue, which is her favorite color. And so, The Count of Monte Cristo it shall be. Time to dig into the unread classics on my shelf.
* I've decided that I quite like drinking a glass of chocolate milk for dessert.

Sunday, September 19

Weekdays are for television

Okay, this week begins the big return of TV, and I think I've got my viewing and DVR (#1: bedroom; #2: living room) calendar all figured out. I know you all want to know, so I'll tell you how I've got it set up.
MONDAY: 7 p.m. -- 9 p.m.: Dancing with the Stars (DVR #1); 7 p.m. -- 8 p.m.: Chuck (DVR #1); 8 p.m. -- 9 p.m.: Gossip Girl (DVR #1); 9 p.m. -- 10 p.m.: Castle (DVR #1); 9 p.m. -- 10 p.m.: Hawaii Five-0 (DVR #2)
TUESDAY: 7 p.m. -- 8 p.m.: Glee (DVR #2); 8 p.m. -- 9 p.m.: Dancing with the Stars (DVR #1); 8 p.m. -- 9 p.m.: Life Unexpected (DVR #1); 9 p.m. -- 10 p.m.: Parenthood (DVR #1)
WEDNESDAY: 7 p.m. -- 8 p.m.: Undercovers (DVR #1)
THURSDAY: 7 p.m. -- 8 p.m.: The Vampire Diaries (DVR #1); 7 p.m. -- 7:30 p.m.: Community (DVR #2); 7:30 p.m. -- 8 p.m.: 30 Rock (DVR #2); 8 p.m. -- 9 p.m.: Nikita (DVR #1); 9 p.m. -- 10 p.m.: The Mentalist (DVR #1)
FRIDAY: 7 p.m. -- 8 p.m. Human Target (DVR #1); 9 p.m. -- 10 p.m.: Blue Bloods (DVR #2)

Wow. That seems like a lot of television, doesn't it? Add to that the already programmed recordings of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and one might say that my nights are pretty well booked throughout the week. I honestly can't wait to get started though. Some of these shows I'm super excited to see. I've got a couple questions marks, and a couple shows I'm not sure I'll love beyond the third episode, so the schedule may loosen up a bit here and there. I love TV. Let's get this party started!

Friday, September 17

Stonehenge = Blog. History defined!

Did you know that you could have your blog printed into book form? Let me say that differently: Guess what! I found out that I can have my blog printed in book form! Soft cover. Full-color photos. Organized post by post.
That's actually a pretty awesome idea. The book can come with a Table of Contents, which consists of the post titles, as well as an optional space for a dedication. I think I'm going to have "It's all about..." printed by year. It's funny though, because I have 2005 formatted, which only consists of posts from September 13th of that year through December 31. And it takes up (including the ToC) about 75 pages. And would cost approximately $32. That's not bad. But that's also the first year that I wrote the blog. Every year of the blog since that has 250 or more posts per calendar year. Those years, obviously, will be about three times as long, and probably cost three times more.
The cost factor makes me nervous, but that is far less nervous than I am about the entire site going down and my posts being lost FOREVER. You know what a blow that would be for future generations, right? It's very important that Sydney and her children know how much I loved television, was bugged by my shingles a couple years ago, and couldn't stand the political scene. So, I will have the blog printed, and I'll stack it on my bookshelf with all my other writings and clips. A new project!!

Thursday, September 16

Banjos and bedtime

ITEM!: Steve Martin has joined Twitter, and my goodness, Twitter is so much better because of it. A couple examples: "OMG. President Lincoln has been shot! Wait, whoa, my internet connection is SUH-LOW." "Just learned that Alec Baldwin doesn’t have a book on the NYTimes list. YEAH! Alec Baldwin: nowheresville. Steve Martin: 6. I love 6!" "By the way, it's a beautiful day where I am. I only wish I were where I am." "Idiot in front of me is TEXTING WHILE DRIVING. This is annoying: I have coffee in my right hand, so I have to type this with my left thumb!" "Just did interview with NYT about Steve Martin Prize for Excellence in Banjo & Bluegrass. Didn't like his first question: What’s a banjo?"
NOT AN ITEM!: It's weird, but I actually got really bored sitting here watching TV right now. Of course, I'm all done with The Vampire Diaries, a show that I always miss the second it's over. But I'm sitting here yawning, not finding anything to watch, and thinking, "Then why the hell is the TV still on? Turn it off and go to bed." Hmmmm .... Thank you, I think I will!

Wednesday, September 15

Reading is good for you!

I'm actually quite tired right now. I've finished the last of the three Stieg Larsson books today, The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest. I can honestly say that I have read more books in the last eight months than I have in all the years of Sydney being alive before this one.
Is this the first time I have actually followed through on a New Year's resolution? Perhaps. (I'm becoming increasingly arrogant about my accomplishment as I write this.) The resolution itself was to read one book a month for the entire year. I've read those 12, and then some.
But I will not stop now, just because I've logged about 15 books for the year already. I need to have a book for October, November and December. So, you know what that means: I must drag myself, kicking and screaming, of course, into a book store at some point this month. Ack! The lengths I must go through to keep a simple resolution!!

Tuesday, September 14

Five down, a lot more to watch!

So, I'm starting to get a little concerned about my love affair with the television. Out of five of my shows that have premiered so far, I only am eager to see two of the series' next episodes. Did that sentence even make sense?
Okay, I've watched The Vampire Diaries, Nikita, Gossip Girl, Life Unexpected and Parenthood. Of those, I'm only really interested in seeing The Vampire Diaries and Nikita again. Okay, I'll amend that to say that I'm only eager to see those two shows again. I'm vaguely interested in the other three's next episodes.
So here's the deal Other Three Shows, I'll give you two more episodes to hook me into the new season. If I decide, after those episodes, that I'm still only "vaguely interested" in you, I shall break up with you.
Oh, and to the other shows that haven't premiered yet, I make the same deal with you, too. I do not step lightly into these season-viewing arrangements! Make me want you to tell me stories! Impress me with cleverness, emotion and OMG moments! My DVRs should be heated and smoking by the end of an evening recording your images! Do not disappoint me!

Monday, September 13

Your tweets were a wonderland

Let's talk a little bit about Twitter, and celebrities who tweet. More especially, how those tweets can change the public's perception of the celebrity. But specifically, how John Mayer changed my mind about him, based on his 140-character comments.
I always thought he was an ass, hooking up and breaking up with female celebrities kinda willy nilly, not seeming to care too much about them. And I really just had a bad feeling about him. But then, I got a kick out of his sense of humor. And his pictures, bits of "wisdom," and antics made me smile or giggle.
Because he's clever. But I can't copy and paste any of his tweets, because Mayer quit his Twitter account today. John Mayer has become a Twitter quitter. And sadly, it seems that he stopped because he was done with his tour, and was heading back into the studio. So, John Mayer, the tour is over and you've got nothing to actively promote, so you're going to abandon your 3.7 million followers? That's just not cool.
Here's the story: According to the Associated Press, a spokesperson for Mayer said the timing was synched with the end of his Battle Studies Tour that wrapped Saturday in West Palm Beach, Florida.
Oh well. At least I still have Jeremy Piven, Wil Wheaton, The Fug Girls, Diablo Cody, Stephen Colbert, Seth MacFarlane, Rainn Wilson, the kids from Glee, Jon Favreau and Jimmy Fallon.

Sunday, September 12

Dear VF: Why shake my confidence in you?

Here's the thing: I love my Vanity Fair magazine.
I love that it's super pretentious. I love that the articles sometimes last for days. I love that it's always thick with fancy ads and beautiful pictures. I love that there is always a pretty person on the cover. I love that I sometimes have two or three issues piled up at a time. I love that it takes me a whole day to get through any one month's offering.
What I don't love, is that sometimes, I feel like I just got Star, or Us, or OK!, or something like that. Usually, the editors of the magazine are pretty selective of their cover models. They pick someone who not only has something to promote, but who also has something else interesting going on in their lives. Angelina Jolie is a perfect example. Sure, she's gorgeous, and of course, she's always got a movie coming out or something like that, but when she's on the cover, the story also spends time on her charity and humanitarian work. You also get the sense of the good she does. Last month, Lady Gaga was on the cover. Sure, she's kinda weird, but she's certainly an interesting personality, and not much is known abut her personally. So, yes, a valid cover celebrity.
Saturday, I received my October issue of VF. With Lindsay Lohan on the cover. First thought: I immediately knew that I was feeling kinda old on myself. I looked at her photo and said ... out loud, "Really? Really? Lindsay Lohan?" Then, I scanned through my mental entertainment encyclopedia, realizing that she has no movie coming out, no music, and no occupational need to promote. My information search could only bring up the vague knowledge that she just got out of her 90-day rehab program after 15 days or so.
Second thought: Sure, we need to promote a troubled girl with obvious problems, take flattering photos of her and put them on a magazine, thereby showing other girls that all her problems are easy, peasy and not a worry, as long as she looks good on a magazine.
Third thought ... and I acted on it: Ripped the cover off, and pulled out the article. I'm sending it back to Vanity Fair in an envelope.

Saturday, September 11

Sad, and heartbreaking

The annual coverage is so incredible. It's like you can't not watch it. Always more film of it, always different people who experienced it and survived to tell the tale. Tonight, Brian and I watched the coverage on History Channel. We saw a piece that we had ever seen before: on the Marriott Hotel survivors and their stories. It was kind of amazing. I had no idea how many people had survived the collapse of that building, and what their experience was. Another incredible story of heroism and tragedy. But what's weird is that, even the stuff I've seen before, I still have such an emotional reaction to it. I still cry. I still have to cover my mouth in shock. I still can't believe that it actually and really happened. The whole scene is so surreal. I'm so sad for the people in these video and sound clips. My heart goes out to them. I feel so sad for everyone who witnessed this. Such a tragedy.

Friday, September 10

Back to the book!

I've been told to not worry about not hearing about the job until Monday. Then what? Your guess is as good as mine, but I'm thinking a random -- but spelled correctly -- e-mail may, just may, be a good idea. I can be dissuaded from this, of course.
I have a feeling that I'll be up all night finished The Girl Who Played with Fire. It's getting totally good, and with only about 200 pages left, I'm not about to read for a hour of so and then stop reading with only 50 pages left. So, having said that, I'm going to stop blogging and get back to the book.

Thursday, September 9

Why can't we all just get along?

Okay, let's talk about this whack job pastor in Florida who wants to burn the Quran on September 11. Whack job. What does he really think he is going to accomplish? Because really, what he's doing is giving the rest of the non-Christian world (which is a LOT of people, by the way) a soundbite, visual reference, and offensive action that will do nothing but engage more hate against Americans as a whole.
And that a small congregation of 50 could put the entire world in a tailspin over their own intolerance is, in itself, a crime. It's a very real shame that our country should be held to a higher standard for tolerance, but that that standard means we also must allow whack jobs to say what they want. Is it a hypocrisy to say that I hate intolerant people?

Wednesday, September 8

New music ideas, please!

I decided a couple days ago that I need some new music in my life. I pulled all six CDs out of my car, and have left the spaces open, a constant reminder of my current lack of musical inspiration.
I'll tell you that I'm intrigued by Plain White T's, and Lady Gaga (a little late, but oh well). But I'm still not sure who else to invest in. Tara has suggested Katy Perry, which is an excellent idea. I'm thinking Michael Buble right now. Bob suggested Train's newest CD. Tara also likes Jack Johnson, and I am interested in Jason Mraz. So really, I've got some good ideas here, but I'd like some more. I put it out on Facebook that I'd like some music ideas, and so far, only Tara and Bob have responded. I'll leave Music Quest as my status until tomorrow, so I'm sure everyone sees it and has the opportunity to pop me an idea, too. (If any of you have any thoughts, e-mail me or comment!)
I'm really kind of excited to get some new CDs. I like learning and appreciating new tunes. And music is always a good thing.

Tuesday, September 7

She's a fancy cow

So, what have YOU been up to lately? I took a nice Labor Day weekend away and, family in tow, visited the parents in-law.
While there, of course, the car battery decided to do a quick death, and we had to jump the car every time we wanted to move it five feet. I got it right quick to the dealership this morning, and they confirmed that, yes, there was a bad cell in the battery. The catch: battery warranty lasts two years or 24,000 miles. My car, while less than two years old, has 26,000 miles on it. Bad news for us, $180 for a new battery.
Also, it looks like the days of our hotter-than-110-degree days are almost behind us. I saw a seven-day forecast that included highs in the mid- to upper-90s, and lows in the 70s. You know what this means, right? OPEN WINDOWS AT NIGHT. I've been waiting for that!!
As for the big NON-news, I still have not heard from the job. I'd be discouraged, but I really think I'm going to get it, so I'm feeling more frustrated that they haven't called me yet. Frustration and nervous more than anything. Ye gods, I hope they call me tomorrow. I'm itching to go shopping for that delicious blue Coach bag, and to take my husband out to dinner on my own paycheck.

Friday, September 3

A sentimental post about Ollie!

Lately, every time I look at Oliver doing something that makes me smile, I wish that I was recording him. Like just now, he's laying next to me, and he stretched out to get more comfortable. He pushes out and down with his little front legs and stretches his neck up a bit, then does that awesome sleeping-dog sigh that melts my heart.
Since I've got the phone with the video recorder in it now, I should really get on this taping Oliver thing. Because he rocks. He's the most best dog ever. Like, on par with Ginger, you know?
He just shifted again, because my typing arm is brushing against his fur, and bugging him. He's completely on his back now, head to the side, breathing heavy like a happy dog.
He's my beast. My little Oxen Free. I love him!!

Thursday, September 2

A flower, for the job, and in spite of the oil

Tomorrow is seven days from the seven-to-10-day decision-making estimate that I got from the interviewer last week. I am quietly, subtly, but definitely, freaking out. Every time my phone rings, I jump. I am sure to keep the phone with me at all times. I am irritated by how much I'm depending on this job coming through for me. But I really hope to get a call that'll make my weekend super, duper awesome.
Also, I can't believe that another oil platform blew up today. Doesn't that just seem like a really weird coincidence? I mean, a coincidence is all it is, but still, it's a really weird one. We've had two oil platform explosions within six months, and before them, like years without one. I feel like the gods are trying to tell us something. Even though it's just a coincidence and probably can be explained, maybe this is a real sign that society needs to make some very real changes. Will anyone ever be able to perfect an electric, or corn-fed, car? Will we ever be able to be independent of oil and petroleum? Will I have to worry about my daughter dealing with some Armageddon judgment day experience because all the oil runs out? The latter, of course, freaks me out more than anything. (I worry a lot about what tragedies may befall the planet as long as she's on it.)
Also, in other random news, we've decided to extend our lease for another year beyond the end of the current lease, keeping us here until March 2012. That sounds like a far way away, but you all know as well as I do, that time flies, and it'll be here before we know it.

Wednesday, September 1

September = Ballroom Dancing!!

It's getting close to the beginning of the Fall TV Season, and you know what that means: a new Dancing with the Stars cast. Check them out.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino ~ Reality television character from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Because I have a new and unhealthy fascination with Jersey Shore, this is an interesting one for me.
David Hasselhoff ~ Actor best known for his roles on Baywatch, Knight Rider and America’s Got Talent. Um, Hasselhoff is awesome, except when he's drunk and trying to eat a hamburger.
Rick Fox ~ Retired pro basketball player from the Los Angeles Lakers. I'm kinda apathetic to this one.
Bristol Palin ~ Daughter of ex-Alaska governor Sarah Palin. I feel like she's doing something cool to break away from her mom, and I'm all for encouraging her to do that!
Kurt Warner ~ Retired NFL quarterback. Warner is a nice guy and all, but I don't think there's much there personality-wise. I'll wish him well.
Florence Henderson ~ Actress best known for her role in TV’s The Brady Bunch. I think she'll do better than some may assume, but she won't make it too far into the competition.
Audrina Patridge ~ Reality character from MTV’s The Hills. I think she'll be the first to get asked to leave.
Michael Bolton ~ Singer-songwriter, who used to have a crazy, crazy mullet.
Brandy Norwood ~ Singer-songwriter and star of the old UPN comedy Moesha. She's partnered with Maks, and I really hope they take the trophy. You know me, always voting for Maks!!
Margaret Cho ~ Comedienne and current co-star of Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva. I always get nervous about the comedians on this show, because they tend to focus more on being funny then trying to get anywhere within the competition.
Kyle Massey ~ Actor known for starring in Disney Channel’s That’s So Raven. And here we have Disney's forced example of nepotism.
Jennifer Grey ~ Actress best known for starring in Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts Baby in a corner, right? Can she do the dancing? I'm hoping!

I catch thieves, via bad grammar

Check out this e-mail I got this afternoon.

Dear Chase Member,
In the event of providing a more secure environment for online activities, we periodically screen accounts and restrictions were placed on your account in the process, due to suspicious account activities.
To regain full access to your account, you are to download the attachment to this email and fill in the required columns in order to restore access to your account.
This procedure is in line with our periodic security update and we very well appreciate your prompt response.
Very Sincerely,
© 2010 JPMorgan Chase & Co. Review Department.

Reasons why this is crazy fake:
1. I'm not a "Chase Member."
2. No logos, or graphic design to the e-mail at all. It was just text.
3. "In the event of providing" makes little to no sense. Immediately, I'm thinking, not a native speaker who is trying to sound professional. And a writer wouldn't use "account" three times in a sentence. It sounds funky.
4. The directions are too random. Download a program and fill in the information? I'm pretty sure that, if this was real, they'd ask you to go to their web site or call them.
5. "We very well appreciate" also screams to me that the someone who wrote this doesn't speak English well enough to be writing e-mails for JP Morgan Chase.
6. "Very Sincerely"? It's like they're screaming, "You HAVE to TRUST me! And give me all your account information."
I hate that people do this, and I hate even more that people fall for this kind of thing. Be vigilant!!