Sunday, December 13

Why don't *you* dust it then?

Brian has decided that we need a bigger television in the living room. Please, do not get me started on the ridiculousness of this, as I can go on for minutes and minutes about the ridiculousness of this. Be that as it may, Brian continues to do his research. I continue to be indifferent to his arguments, reasons and one-sided debates on the necessity of the larger television.
Yesterday, this research included a visit to a store called Starpower in North Scottsdale. My lack of enthusiasm was obvious upon entering the establishment, and I made it more known to Brian, in my best passive-aggressive way, by not chatting much at all, taking a phone call while he was talking with the salesman, and "watching" the Elton John special playing on all the televisions instead of paying attention to the conversation. Our salesman was named Roy. He had a shark tail necklace worn tight like a choker. I wasn't too impressed with him when we met, and during the visit, I became less so. Let me tell you:
Sydney and I returned to the sales floor from the bathroom to find Brian and Roy discussing the pros and cons of these two too-big TVs on the back wall. They had finished one line of conversation, and sensing a break, or an opportunity, Roy turns to me.
"I was just showing your husband something, and I think you should see it, too," he says as he tries to lead me to the televisions. "You see here. On this TV," he says, while indicating the TV on the right, "these ridges here along the screen. What do they do for the television? Nothing. You know what they really do? They collect dust." He runs his finger along the bottom interior ridge of that television, and wipes it, playing up his illusion. "Now this TV here," he says, while pointing to the left TV, "it has a continuous smooth front screen cover that runs from top to bottom. The only place that dust can collect is the top of the television." He kind of nods at me confidently and then adds, "You don't find that on every television."
In person, I nod and smile, and blithely look to the right to pay attention to Elton John again. In my head, I'm kinda stunned. Really, Roy? Really? You think that the best way to sell me on the television is to tell me that it'll be easier to dust? What the hell? Really, Roy? "Here, little lady, this big TV for your rugged manly man is great for him, but for you ... for you ... the best part will be how you can dust it and keep it clean for him."
It's at that moment that, even if I did approve of this television purchase, it's for sure that Roy wasn't going to get the sale. I couldn't get out of that store soon enough. And Brian's thoughts during that in-store conversation when we talked about it?
"Dude. She's in charge, man. You have no idea what you've just done."

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