Tuesday, February 13

Best in everything

If Oliver ever were to compete in the Westminster Kennel Club show:
He would ignore all the other dogs, as he's famous for being indifferent to other canines; shrink in intimidation from the big dogs; stop to scratch when he should be trotting; pretend he can't here anyone giving him orders; growl at the guy who checks teeth; lay down and sigh because he's bored with all the pretty kids surrounding him; pee somewhere inappropriate; and run around the judging area in carefree abandon.
He would not care if he wins, because his mom loves him and thinks he's the coolest no matter what; walk on those treadmills backstage; stand still while his hair is blown dry; tolerate any combing whatsoever; perform for treats, as he deserves treats for just being him; stop running when he's told; let his hair grow long; or consent to being judged.

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